Movie Review: The Strangers

For the newbies, you might find some things below to be spoiler-ey. I try to put true spoilers in secret decoder mouse mode, but you never know. Caveat read-or.


Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 2

Yep, I'm gonna go with a 2. The lead chick is Liv Tyler, whom I think is quite attractive.

For the girls...the main guy squeeze is Scott Speedman. He's totally a fencesitter for me--I'm not really feeling him, but I know that if I were at a party and he turned out to be nice or smart or funny, I would probably fall deeply in like with him.

Plus he's Canadian (sigh). And we all know how I feel about that.

That's really it. Honestly, there are really only the 2 of them in the movie. There are a few creepy people and a best dude friend, but the above choices are pretty much it!

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 1. Booooo. Seriously--like I've said a million times, I get enough uncertainty in my real life. I like my movies to be wrapped up nicely at the end with a big giant bow on top.

Maybe there'll be a sequel, but I just don't care. Grrrr. Not a bad ending, just not one that makes me happy. And, since it's an M-ocracy here, I get to make all the rules ;)

Action/adventureness (0-5): 3. Decent! Good action, good running around and stuff. I like.

Love storyness (0-5): 3. I'm going to give it a 3. You can see that the leads really do care for each other, which is really nice to see.

Good Scaryness (0-5): 3. Some pretty good scenes that made me jump and cover my eyes. The psych-out factor was pretty well done.

Kissing (0-5): 2. A 2 only because there wasn't enough of it. I like lots of kissing in my movies--lots and lots of it. There's a decent make out scene, although it was interruptus-ed, which is kind of a bummer. Still, all in all, good.

Cinematography/Special Effects (1-5): 3. Pretty good. Well shot, interesting camera angles, different things to look at, good creepy surprises.

Extra Credit: None that I can think of.



Total: 17/35. Worth seeing if you like scary movies. If it had had a big red bow on top, I think I would have really liked it. I was left with the "but..why..and what about?" at the end, which isn't my favorite, but all in all, it was pretty good.

Movie Review: The Heartbreak Kid

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): I give it a 3.


For the biceps crowd, there's Ben Stiller's Eddie Cantrow (also here). I've always thought he was cute and funny (and he's shapely, which is always appreciated!! I do love an invitation to the gun show.)


For the stockings crowd, there's 2 choices. There the Malin Akerman, the blonde chick who plays Ben Stiller's wife. Pretty enough, though her character is so annoying that it might be hard to get over. (I guess you could always just plug your ears?)


Alternatively, there's Michelle Monaghan, who plays the love interest Miranda. Mrrrrow.



A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 1. Meh. The ending was a mixed bag. On one hand, you're happy to get what seems like a happy ending. On the other hand, I was really disappointed in Ben Stiller's character and felt sad for my girl Michelle.

Action/adventureness (0-5): 3. There's a good amount of slapstick and pratfalls, which is fun. Some good driving scenes. There was also some, um, action scenes that might surprise. Meant to be funny, but still pretty shocking for a Ben Stiller movie!

Love storyness (0-5): 1. True love story? Not really...not, like, From Here to Eternity love story. Otherwise, there's plenty of love story--the whole movie is full of it.

Good Scaryness (0-5): 0. No scaryness at all. At least not the way I mean it.

Kissing (0-5): 1. Not enough kissing. But, boy, those not-kissing scenes. Funny--and meant to be funny--but pretty graphic!

Cinematography/Special Effects (1-5): 2. Also meh. Some of the scenery was really pretty, but then other times you could tell it was green-screened. The thing is, it's a Farrelley brothers movie, not high cinema.

Extra Credit: 5. Ben Stiller's real-life dad, Jerry, is hilariously rude and potty-mouthed. He alone is worth watching the movie.



Total: 16/35. Made by the people who brought you There's Something About Mary and Superbad, but less enjoyable than either.

Movie Reveiw: Bourne Ultimatum

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 3. A "3" mostly because it's heavily balanced in the I-like-boys group's favor. You know, I try to be fair.

For those into stockings and heels: There's mainly Joan Allen (as Pamela Landy) and Julia Stiles (as Nicky Parsons) . They're both good and good-looking in the movie, with Julia Stiles sporting darker hair than her usual (much more attractive on her, I think)

For those into square jaws and biceps: You're mostly looking at David Strathairn and, of course, Matt Damon (sigh). Now, while David Strathairn doesn't really do it for me, I can totally see where he would be attractive to some.

Matt Damon? Well, honestly, do I really even have to specify what's so appealing? Probably not. I mean, the pictures really say it all. Like this one. Don't you just wanna wipe the smirk off his face?

Ok, sorry, I'll move on ;)

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 3. Hmmm. It's hard to say. There is a definite ending, which I appreciate, but I'm not sure it's the ending I'm looking for. It's...well...it just doesn't really fit with the rest of the series. Although, I guess I can't imagine how else they would have ended the Bourne run. Hmmm.

Love storyness (0-5): 1. Well, it's mostly filled with the wistful longing and confusion over the dead girlfriend from Bourne #2. Poignant and sad--I mean, your heart goes out to Matt Damon (and you find yourself with a burning desire to comfort him...over at your apartment...later on tonight...)--but not very lovey. Hmmm.

Good Scaryness (0-5): 0. No scaryness at all. At least not the way I mean it.

Kissing (0-5): 1. IMHO? Sooo not enough kissing. Yes, I know, the dead girlfriend, but come on, couldn't we at least get some "I'm-sorry-your-girlfriend-drowned-in-and/or-was-shot-and-thrown-into-the-river" consolation-type making out? Nothing!

I'm so disappointed...

Cinematography/Special Effects (1-5): 4. Strictly speaking, the cinematography was awesome. Realistically speaking, I occasionally had to look away from the screen so as to not throw up. Action and any (totally surreptitious!) special effects were very good!

Extra Credit: 1 point because Matt Damon is both cute and nice.

Total: 13/35. I didn't like it as much as the other 2, but then I'm heavily biased on the inclusion of a love story, so take me with a grain of salt. It's really, really good!

Movie Review: More Than Meets The Eye!

Those of you who knew me when I was young know of my Transformers thing. Those of you who know me now, know of my electronic gadget thing.

I'm going to marry the Transformers movie.

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 4. Oh, where to begin?
If you're into chicks:
There's the brainy blonde chick who can hack into the Dept of Defense computer systems without disrupting either her hornrimmed glasses or her artfully deconstructed bun. Australian, blue eyes, hot.

And then there's the brunette chick with the juvie record and dirty white tank top who can replace the headers in your cousin's Trans Am in, like, 20 minutes. American, blue eyes, hot.

If I were picking, I'd pick the brunette chick. But that's just me.

If you like dudes:
There's Shia LeBoeuf--too young for me, but decently cute and pretty funny. He does a lot of steamy running around to save the world, which is always attractive in someone you think is cute.
Another option--> Josh Duhamel. He's not usually a top pick of mine for some reason, buuuut, if he showed up at my door, I'd make him some tea. Especially after that motorcycle scene. Whew. Lots of tea.

Oh--Tyrese is also available. He doesn't say much, but he's ripped, so, honestly, it hardly matters.

And, uh, *cough*, there's Bumblebee*. Strong...protective...tall...........yellow? Now if I could only figure out if it's weirder than my childhood crush on Aquaman. It's so hard to decide.

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 5. OH YEAH!! Good guys win, bad guys lose!!!! Room for a sequel! (Se-quel, Se-quel)

Action/adventureness (0-5): 5. Absolutely awesome. I don't think I've liked an action movie this much since the first Matrix. And that's saying a lot, b/c I really dig action flicks. A lot.

Love storyness (0-5): 3. No true love story, but all the hot folk are ogling each other. Which is nice. Shia LeBoeuf is adorably bumbly when he's around the hot brunette chick.

Good Scaryness (0-5): 1. No true scaryness, unless you're 5. Then maybe. Cartoon-based evilness? Sure, plenty of that.

Kissing (0-5): 1. I only recall one actual kiss. But you know what, it doesn't matter.

Here's why... It's summer and it's a blockbuster movie, so the movie houses are crowded. The movie is full of great Transformer and U.S. military powerhouse action. People were actually cheering out loud. When we weren't cheering, we were laughing. You've been eating candy.

What's my point? At the end of the movie, you're left sweaty, excited, out of breath, and sticky. I don't need the kissing--do you need the kissing?

Cinematography/Special Effects (1-5): 5. Awesome. The car chases were great. The fighter jet/helicopter parts were great. The desert scenes were great. Even the Autobot vs. Decepticon fighting scenes were as realistic as something imaginary could really be.

Extra Credit:
Soundtrack/score? 5 points.
CG stuff? 5 points.
Military exhibitionism? 5 points.
Sam's parents and the all scenes at his house? 5 points

The car/robot/tow truck/Hoover Dam/Sikorsky helicopter/hotwiring/Lockheed Martin F22 Raptor/bitchin' Camaro machine-gadgetry? 5 million freaking points.

Total: 5,000,044/35. I couldn't get DB to stay for the 10pm show. Maybe I can finagle a matinee tomorrow...we'll see...


*http://www.transformersmovie.com/

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Ack!

Technical difficulties! See the repost!

MiniReview: Music and Lyrics

Drew Barrymore, Hugh Grant, Brad Garrett...

I had not seen this movie until this past Sunday when DB and I on-demanded it from (the total cable monopoly) Comcast. I was a little surprised when DB wanted to see it, as it's a bit of a chick flick, but then it occurred to me that Drew falls into the same bucket as Belinda Carlisle, Lisa Loeb, and Pink-->
DB's Somewhat Eclectic Collection of Chicks He Thinks Are Cute.

Suddenly it all made sense...

It was a really cute and entertaining movie! Drew is funny and adorable as she is in all her movies. Hugh Grant was the same--he should really stick to romantic comedies such as this, they're really his forte. I mean, it's hard to get over the Divine Brown Incident, don't get me wrong, but I still like him on film, you know?

Brad Garrett was his excellent very tall, deadpan self.

I give it a home rating of 4 out of 5.

5: Definitely worth watching--even via pay-per-view
4: It's on free TV? Absolutely watch it. And, honestly, even if it's not free, watch it then too.
3: It's a fine way to waste an afternoon on the couch
2: If it's the only thing on, it's not going to kill you
1: Not even if it's raining, you're watching TBS, and you'd have to get up to fetch the remote. I mean, you're going to have to get up at some point anyway, what with all the iced tea you've been drinking. Do yourself a favor...do the world a favor. Using only your humble thumb, send a message to Comcast to stop playing sucky movies on days when you can't play outside.

After all, If you're going to spend the day on the couch letting the dog in and out (in again, out again, in and out, oh, then in, oops, out again...), at least watch something decent.

Like a Buffy marathon, for instance.

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Movie Review: Ratatouille

I should start off by saying that I am not really a cartoon movie fan. I like the idea of cartoons--I like the live action versions like Fantastic 4 and The X Men (Hugh Jackmann as Wolverine, mrrrrrrrrow).

I also really like a lot of Pixar's previous efforts like the ones with the toys, the one with the monsters, the one with the fish, and the one with the superhero family. These have humor for the kids, but also a whole layer of humor for the adults, which I like.

Ratatouille, however--and although it's Pixar--is more your straight-forward cartoon movie. It's got Pixar's fantastic abilities, but not as much tongue-in-cheek humor as I had hoped for.

DB, however, loved it. He clapped. In the movie theater. Alone...

Anyway, on to the review!


Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 1. They're cartoons? [shrug] The characters are cute, but not in the way this review section really intends. The chick chef, though, I think caught DB's eye. If she were real, she'd probably go on his "List".

Right up there with Lisa Loeb, Belinda Carlisle, and Pink. My dh--he's an a la carte sort of celebrity chick watcher, he is.

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 5. "Good" guys win, "bad" guys lose. "People" fall in love. All is well. My favorite kind of ending :)

Action/ adventureness (0-5): 4. All CG, but really, really good. Honestly, the whole movie was full of great action (see Cinematography)

Love storyness (0-5): 3. Even though they're cartoons and the making-out leaves something to be desired, I gues you're still happy when they get together ;)

Good Scaryness (0-5): 0 No scaryness.

Kissing (0-5): 1. There was one cartoon kissing scene, and honestly, it was between the 2 character I hoped would hook up (sorry Dave, looks like your chef girlfriend is off the market), so you almost wanted to cheer.

Dave even elbowed me to point out, "see making-out! you love making-out scenes!" Which is true--what's the point of a movie not having a making out scene? Movies about submarines have making out scenes. Even the Terminator had making out scenes!

(Dear Hollywood, making out = very important. To appease the gentlemen we may be watching the movie with, maybe blow something up, make-out, then parachute off a cliff. After that? More making-out.)

Cinematography/Special Effects (1-5): 5. FABULOUS! Incredibly realistically and amazing at some points--you couldn't believe that all the textures and stuff were all CG! The little cartoon short at the beginning was great too (up until the alien cried--[poor baby!])

Extra Credit (Max. 10 points): Nothing comes to mind?


Total: 19/35. If you generally like cartoons and specifically like Pixar--GO SEE IT! You'll love it. If you don't generally like cartoons, but like Pixar--go see it, it's worth watching. If you like neither cartoons or Pixar--stop reading.

Seriously. Why are you reading movie reviews about things you hate? You should be ashamed of yourself. I mean, I do like to have a good readership, but not ones who are in denial! Not ones who haven't yet embraced themselves! How is that good for my reader portfolio? Here's a bunch of unsure people.... NO!

It's a brand new world here at mairzydoats! We have a charter! You don't have to do anything you don't want to do! You read what you want to! There's nobody following you around--checking up on you! trying to figure out what you next move is! No! Here, you are free to do as you please!!






Although...I do have a counter that tells me how many people have visited on each day, so I can kind of get an idea of the topics you find more---or less---entertaining. Now if I could only get my spycam working...
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Up Next...

Saw Ratatouille tonight...stay tuned for a review...not now though. Tomorrow is moving day for my sissy--930 will come early(ish).

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean 3

PotC3. First person to tell me what it's rated gets 3 bonus points (email or comment)!

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 4. Hmmm. It's hard to say. I give it a high score, because ever since seeing Eric I-can't-remember-his-last-name-but-I-weirdly-ran-across-a-picture-of-him-in-Laura-H's-photo-album-which-by-the-way-contains-more-male-shirt-off-pictures-than-the-International-Male-catalog* in my high-school's production of Pirates of Penzance, I've had a pirate thing. So, I like Johnny Depp.

Course, there's also Orlando Bloom. He's not my style, but he *is* the style of many, many girls I know.

For the boys, there's Keira Knightley. If I dug chicks, I'd dig her. So...

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 5. Pretty good :) Leaves room for a PotC4, although I'm not sure where they'd go with it. "Good" guys win, "bad" guys lose. My favorite :)

Action/ adventureness (0-5): 5. FABULOUS! So good! Lots of swashbuckling and such. It had a good beat, I could dance to it, I give it a 10. (Well, you know, a five).

Love storyness (0-5): 3. The sameo-sameo. Orlando plus Keira with a dash of Johnny. Less good than PotC1 or 2, though...see below.

Good Scaryness (0-5): 0.5. No scaryness, but some ickyness.

Kissing (0-5): 2. Some kissing. None involving Johnny, though, so not as good as PotC2. ;)

Cinematography/Special Effects (1-5): 5. Also FABULOUS! Really, reallly, good and, although you know it's CGI, otherwise believeable. So good. The "finding their way back" scene was awesome!!! And the crabs!

Extra Credit (Max. 10 points): 10. 5 for the celebrity guest appearance and 5 more for the special effects (soo good).

Total: 34.5/35.

*http://www.internationalmale.com/dept.asp?dept%5Fname=Swimwear&dept%5Fid=10390

Movie Review: Spiderman 3

All, right. So, Spiderman 3. It's been a while since we saw S3 (and I've been locked in the windowless room, remember?), so I'll do my best...

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 3. (I was torn between a 2 and a 4, as you'll see below).
This one is really subjective. I don't think what's-his-name is cute. I just don't. He's got pretty eyes, but his upper lip is oddly long, you know? (At least he occasionally closes his mouth unlike Neve Campbell. See Scream [you know, or any other filmed event she's ever been a part of]).

As for the girl, I wouldn't be interested in her even if I dug chicks. I've always thought she looks like those people who grew up a little malnourished.

The best friend/other semi-evil superhero/Willem Dafoe's son guy is okay. I'd let him buy me a drink.

A dark horse in the Cute Persons category was Topher Grace! I was so surprised! I never thought much of him in That 70s Show, but with his hair tipped blond and being that his character is somewhat evil? I would let him buy me a drink too. Certainly. And I can't believe I'm actually saying that.

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 3. Decent. Bad guy dies, good guy lives, girl sticks with good guy. It left a little room for an S4, if they wanted to, but I don't think they're planning on it.

Action/ adventureness (0-5): 4. Pretty good--just like the other 2. Lots of webbing around and fighting the bad guy stuff. I mean, it's no pirate movie, but it's still pretty good.

Love storyness (0-5): 0. The usuzh. Peter and Mary Jane. It'd be godd if it weren't what's his and what's her name, so if you think they're both cute, then you're good to go.

Good Scaryness (0-5): 0. A few loud/startling moments, but no scaryness. If there had been some real spiders, I might change my mind, let's see.....nope. Not changing it.

Kissing (0-5): 1. No good kissing. There was some, but Peter and Mary Jane? Ick. Now if it had been newly-hot Topher Grace, well, I might have changed my mind....

Cinematography/Special Effects: 4. The usual good stuff.

Extra Credit (Max. 10 points): 0.

Total: 15/35. Decent. I liked the other 2 better.

Movie Review: Hot Fuzz

For those unfamiliar with Hot Fuzz, it was made by the same people who made Shaun of the Dead. For those unfamiliar with Shaun of the Dead, well....


Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 1. Not so cute people to look. Appealing, sure, but no one to drool over.

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 5. I love it when movies are all wrapped up in a little package! Plus, the good guys win--which is even better!

Action/ adventureness (0-5): 5. The whole thing is action adventure. Lots of car chases and shoot-em-ups.

Love storyness (0-5): 0. I don't recall any love story. Mostly driving and shooting, with a some British humor thrown in.

Good Scaryness (0-5): 0. No scaryness. It's an action movie with a tongue-in-cheek stab at cop movies. Good, not scary.

Kissing (0-5): 0. No kissing. Yep, not much more to say there

Cinematography/Special Effects (1-5): 3. Well shot, good scenery, lots of movement. No special effects, but they weren't missed.

Extra Credit (Max. 10 points): 3. I'm really not sure why. Maybe because it lost points on love story and kissing, but that loss shouldn't really be reflected in the total score, because the movie wasn't really about kissing and such? I'm not really sure.

Plus, I'm in charge of awarding points and I can do as I please.

Total: 17/35. Good! If you liked Shaun of the Dead you'll like it. If you didn't, you probably won't. If you haven't seen SotD, give it a try.

Movie Review: Disturbia

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 2. I give it a 2 as an average. The main girl character is pretty attractive. The main guy character is one of those guys where they're on the attractiveness fence and their personality is going to puh them over to one side or the other. So, guys theoretically have something to look at. The girls? Maybe, maybe not. I'd probably have given it an overall 3.

I lowered the score, however, b/c the characters are supposed to be in high school, which makes them really young.

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 3. It was all wrapped up at the end, which is my favorite thing, but it was almost a little too wrapped up. Maybe I didn't really take the characters to heart? Maybe I expected to see Carrie Ann Moss save the world wearing a black pleather trench coat instead of a sweater and jeans? I just don't know.

Action/ adventureness (0-5): 2. A few good scenes, particularly the end and anything involving the best friend (whom I thought was the best character in the whole thing!). The house arrest angle was something new and a good idea.

Love storyness (0-5): 3. Also decent. Hot girl moves in next door. Nice non-jock boy falls deep in "like" with hot girl.

Good Scaryness (0-5): 3. Some good suspenseful-ness. I have to say, though, that I really like David Morse better as a good guy, you know? I mean, he was in St. Elsewhere!

Kissing (0-5): 2.5. I'd probably have given it a 4 if they weren't in high school. That creeps me out.

Cinematography/Special Effects (1-5): 3. No special effects that I recall? Cinematography was pretty good--good camera angles, good scenery. The house was beautiful! I wanted to live there myself.

Extra Credit (Max. 10 points): 7. I wish David Morse would send me an invitation to the gun show. Sighhhhh.*

Total: 25.5/35. Somewhat predictable. You don't go home continuing to feel creeped out, which I think is a hallmark of a good creepy movie, but it's worth going. Dave really liked it--more so than I did.


*http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gun+show

Movie Review: Blades of Glory

Yes, it's good!

No, I don't know if you'd think it's as funny as Talladega Nights--I didn't really like Talladega Nights that much, so I'm not a control for that experiment.

No, it's not as good as Elf, but then, what is?

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 1. Alas, not so much on the cute persons to look at. Neither Will nor Jon nor Craig T Nelson really do it for me, I have to say (I know, right?!?!). What's her name from The Office is in it, though, and if I were a dude, I'd think she's cute, so that's where the "1" comes from. There is one scene with Will and "Pam" that I'm not sure I could have filmed w/o laughing. Will gets his swerve on.

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 5. It was all wrapped up at the end and that's my favorite kind of movie!!! And nobody's head got chopped off! Well, except for the North Korean's.

Action/ adventureness (0-5): 3. It's a figure skating fight to the death! It's actually really action-y, with all the skating stunt work and stuff!! Action, yes. Testosterone fueled action? They're figure skaters!.

Love storyness (0-5): 3. Gawky Jon Heder style! Oh, and there's that Will Ferrell moment... but I wouldn't really call that love.

Good Scaryness (0-5): 0. Except for the North Korea part, not scary. I was startled by it, though.

Kissing (0-5): N/A. Do I remember any kissing that didn't make me want to wash my eyes out with soap??? I can't remember. I think I may have had that part of my memory erased...

Cinematography/Special Effects (1-5): 2. I don't think there were any special effects? Decent cinematography?

Laughs (1-5): 4. I laughed a lot. Not as muich as Elf, the More Cowbell skit, or the Patriotic Thong skit, but more than Talladega Nights.

Extra Credit (10 points): N/A

Total: 18/35. The score is deceptively low. I expected to like it more than I actually did, but that doesn't mean it's not worth watching.

Movie Review: A Night at the Museum

So, Dean (of WGN's "Dean's List") gave this movie a D-. I was really disappointed, since the commercials had me wanting to see it. Well, this weekend, we threw caution to the wind and went to see it with the S and L of Johnsburg. If I didn't feel this way before, I certainly feel this way now: I just don't usually agree with the movie reviewers.

Is it going to win an Oscar?. No, it's a movie about a night guard at a museum where things come to life at night. This is not On Golden Pond. But--it was funny and I liked it.

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 3. Depends on your preferences. I've always though Ben Stiller was cute and shapely, so I though there was at least a decent cute person to look at. Plus, the girl who plays the museum docent was pretty cute too, in a scholarly way, so there might be a little something for the guys as well. For the older crowd? Dick Van Dyke is in it, and the scenes that run during the credits show that ole' Dick's still got it. Give him a Cockney accent and it could have been Mary Poppins all over again!

As an aside, Ben Stiller is one of the best runners I've seen in any movie. You know how some people look like newborn giraffes when they run? Not Ben. In fact, I was sitting there wondering when they'd make him run somewhere (as they do in every movie he's in--just watch the next time you see one*), when off he went, across the museum! He's really, really fast (and cute)!

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 5. I love movies with good endings! Without giving too much away, regarding: the girl, the boy, the kid, the evil-doers, the animals, Teddy Roosevelt, and Attila the Hun; it was very satisfying. I walked out smiling and that's my favorite kind of movie!

Action/ adventureness (0-5): 3. It's no Terminator, but yeah, there was a lot of running around and action and crazy antics. Thoroughly enjoyable! I even liked Owen Wilson, whom I usually think is a bit of a manwhore.

We liked it; the kids behind us (when they weren't stage-whispering, "no, mom, the popcorn!!!") liked it; the kid who did a triple-lindy off the bottom step of the mezzanine, spilling all his popcorn in a somewhat amazing arc, but never dropping the container or his self-possession? He liked it too.

Love storyness (0-5): 1. There was a little bit of flirtation, but not much of a love story. That's okay, it didn't take away from the enjoyment.

Good Scaryness (0-5, optional): NA. It wasn't really intended to be scary. Unless you've got a Hun thing.

Kissing (1-5): 0. There's not any kissing that I recall. I always think kissing makes a movie better, but in this one, it's okay. I can live without it. I think.

Cinematography/Special effects (0-5): 4. They were pretty good. Probably the stars of the movie, honestly, but that doesn't mean the rest of the movie suffered. Not like "Wow, technology is truly amazing"-good, but more like "Man, their writers really had some good ideas--good thing the CG people could come through"-good.

Laughs (1-5): 4. I laughed a lot. Good, clean, kids-and-adults-would-both-think-it's-funny-although-maybe-in-different-parts, enjoyable laughter. I do think that adults would think it's funnier than kids would (we laughed more than the kids behind us), but I don't think the kids would even know they're not laughing at all the funny parts, so they'd never be the wiser. And that's fine.

Extra Credit (10 points): 8. I can't give away what I thought was the best part, but if you've ever had a dog that fetches, you'll laugh a lot. :)

Total: 28/30.

*You know how Neve Campbell always has her mouth open? Kind of like that. You just wait for it to happen, cause you know it's coming...

The Princess Bride is on Bravo right now

Man I love this movie! ROUSes? I don't they exist.

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Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

York Theatre (Elmhurst, IL), Theatre Visit #2

Dave and I visited the York on Sat 9/30/06. We were supposed to be attending the Toby Keith concert (Dave's company does work for TK), but there was a ticket snafu. Since we had already checked into the hotel, we looked around to find something else to do in beautiful downtown Elmhurst...

The York Theatre is beautiful and a lot bigger than I expected. I guess being used to the Woodstock, I expected it to be smaller. The screen where we saw our movie (see the Jack*ss 2 review) is the second picture down on the left in the link below (the pic with the organ). It was huge!**

http://www.classiccinemas.com/history/york.asp

The theatre is on a street that has a bunch of little old shops and streetlights, so, again, the ambience is old-timey and nice :)


It's funny--the whole place smelled like both popcorn and my paternal Grandma's house (which did not smell like popcorn). It was so nice and comforting, even though I don't know exactly what it was that made it smell like Grandma's.

(As opposed to my maternal Grandma's house, which smelled like roast beast. Mmmmm.)

Which one will we visit next? Will it be St. Charles, Carpentersville, Elk Grove Village, Fox Lake, Oak Park, Freeport, Kankakee, Naperville, or Downers Grove?

Only I know. Moohoo-hahahah!




**I may have forgotten to mention in my Jack*ss 2 review, the guy who barfed on the floor--twice--during the showing. Maybe he was drunk, maybe he had a weak stomach? The part of the film during which he hurled really wasn't gross (offensive, maybe, but not gross), so maybe it was the demon rum? Who knows... I'm just glad that the room was big enough for him not to be right next to us. Yuck.

Woodstock Theatre (Woodstock, IL), Theatre Visit #1

We've been to the Woodstock Theatre a million times--it's one of our local theatres. The history of the building is linked below.

It's a 3 or 4 screen theater (4, I think) with a petite lobby full of popcorn(!) and an old-fashioned outside ticket booth. It's located on the beautiful Woodstock Square, which really lends itself to the old-timey illusion. The theatre is also featured in the movie Groundhog Day, which was filmed almost entirely on the Square (the place where the groundhog comes out? Woodstock Square).--> http://www.silverscreens.com/cinesaucine/en/groundhogday.html

There are a bunch of great restaurants nearby, including the Public House right next door (non-smoking, bonus!), plus a Starbucks and DQ within walking distance.

I thoroughly enjoy any visit I make to CC's Woodstock Theatre!

(I'll post a picture the next time I drive by!)


http://www.classiccinemas.com/history/woodstock.asp

Embarking on a brand new quest: Classic Cinemas

Classic Cinemas (http://www.classiccinemas.com/) owns/has helped restore various old movie houses in the Greater Chicagoland Metropolitan Area (Becky and Susan will remember this general area from our college days).

Currently there are 11 theaters in their collection and most have that old marquee look--they're really neat! The have gift certificates called Reel Money available, which I think is so cute!

I've decided that Dave and my new hobby is going to be visiting all 11 of the grand old ladies (or gentlemen?).

Two down, 9 to go!

Movie Review: Jack*ss 2

I must begin by saying if you already don't like Jack*ss, you will not like this movie. It's no different from the TV show or 1st movie. Honestly, watching it is a total waste of brain cells. But I did laugh...

As a disclaimer, it depends on what you find funny. I thought the crashing-into-things parts(particularly the skateboard gauntlet and anything involving the lake) and the pranks they pull on each other are the best. The injuring-themselves-on-purpose (like any piercings) and scatological parts? Not so funny. (I covered my eyes at one point)

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 2. Depends on your preferences and whether you can separate someone potential cuteness from the twisted things they're doing to themselves, but I, personally, think Bam Margera is cute. Well, maybe pretty, rather than cute, but worth a look. I actually think he might have eyeliner on...

There are no chicks in the movie--cute or otherwise. Sorry, guys.

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): N/A. As much as a lot of people wish there were an ending to Jack*ss (ha ha), it's not the kind of film that has one. Although at one point, Bam does pray that there's not a Jack*ss 3.

Action/ adventureness (0-5): 3. Lots of action, not much adventure. But not the same kind of action as, say, a pirate movie. ...for example...

Love storyness (0-5): 0. I don't think anyone is expecting a love story. Unless you consider thinly veiled post-adolescent homophilia a love story.

Good Scaryness (0-5, optional): NA. You might cover your eyes, as I did, but it's not scary.

Kissing (1-5): 0. There's not any kissing. And if there was any kissing I've forgotten about, I'd like to let it stay that way.

Cinematography/Special effects (0-5): 0. There aren't any special effects. Everything you see is, unfortunately, real.

Laughs (1-5): 4. I don't even know how to grade this one. Did I laugh out loud more than almost any other movie I've see this year? Yeeah. Am I embarrassed about it? A little. So if I count only the fact of laughter and that as defined by the disclaimer above, there are a lot of laughs. *shameful, shameful laughs

Extra Credit (10 points): 1. It's lowbrow and disgusting, but I laughed. A lot. (At the parts that didn't horrify me)

Total: 10/30.

Does anyone remember what Pirates of the Caribbean 2 was rated?

Oh wait, I REMEMBER!

It was rated ARRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy national Talk Like A Pirate Day!