I'm at *least* a brown belt, if not black, don't you think?

I have a parking lot habit that I know is illicit. I know it's wrong and I keep doing it. I have evaluated the risk to myself and others, however, and I think it's sufficiently low.

At beautiful HCY, the parking lot stretches the length of the building. I park in the extreme NE corner of said lot and, since very few others do so, I usually turn down the wrong-way aisle and park in the first or second spot from the end. There are rarely, if ever, any other people driving about that area.

Today, as I turned, I saw a Cavalier drive down a right-way aisle and cut across 2 lines of parking spaces (like people do at the grocery store, right before they almost crash into you and then give you that sh*tty look like, 'how dare you be where I planned to cut through!'), heading for the same spaces I was heading for. He parked next to me, and figuring that I took the spot that he was aiming for, when he got out of his car, I was like, "Hey sorry about stealing your spot!" I thought it was kind of funny, since we were both parking lot outlaws.

Oh, no, though, Mr. Cavalier was not under the impression that he had violated any parking lot rules of engagement! He said to me, "You know, you shouldn't drive down the wrong way, you could run into--"

At that point I interrupted him to say, "--people who are cutting across?" And I was still kind of laughing, I suppose because I thought there was no way he could ignore his flagrant HCY parking lot rule violation!!!

Then he started his sentence over again, adding that it's against the rules to drive down the wrong way. I told him, true, it's about as illicit as cutting across the yellow lines to get to where you're going.

I'm still not mad, you know, but getting a little annoyed by the life lesson from Cavvy-boy. I was however amused by the sight of the log he had failed to remove from his own eye!!!

So then he said, "okay, whatever, have a nice day."

And I said thank you.

(He wasn't even a yellow belt. Unless you're a green belt or higher in the time-honored sport of confrontation, you're just wasting my time).

Baby's Home :)

Charlotte Leigh came home from the hospital last night--yay! She's so small(!) It's hard to explain how teeny she is, the pictures don't really do it justice.

Her head is smaller than a grapefruit (but a little bigger than an orange). When you hold her, if her head is in the crook of your elbow, her bum doesn't reach your wrist. I could cover her ear with my thumb and still have plenty of thumb left over.

Really, really small.

Happy Birthday to ME!

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday day dear me-e
Happy buirthday to me

I've been thinking of myself as "32" for a couple months now, seeing as how I wasn't far from it. The other week I thought, "My birthday is coming up soon, then I'll be 33!".

Uh, nope, just 32 still.

Merrydeath

Boy, today is a banner blog day!

I just had a piece of random corporate mail show up addressed to Merydeth.

(Curses! My secret identity must not be revealed!)

Also...

Why is is that when I bring a collection of documents over to a co-worker of mine and ask, "Is the objective to read and understand these, or do you want me to go through and add comments?"

Does she (and many other people in the world) say, "Okay, what you're holding is a stack of paper. Paper is made from trees that are smashed up and pressed flat. Then we write on them with ink. Ink is made from petroleum..........etc, etc"

Why do people always feel the need to start at the beginning???????? What can't we just answer the question I'm asking?!?!?

That's all I really want out of life. Answer the question I asked you. If I needed a different or additional answer, I would have asked A DIFFERENT OR ADDITIONAL QUESTION!!!!!

(Poor Friday, it's really not your fault)

Still waiting.....

I'm Henry the 8th I am
Henry the 8th I am, I am

I got married to the widow next door
She's been married seven
Times before

And everyone loves an 'enry ('enry)
Won't take a Willie or a Sam (or a Sam)

I'm the 8th ol' man, I'm Henry
Henry the 8th I am

(repeat ad infinitum)

You may notice the increase in ranting and raving

*You may ask yourself, how did I get here? This is not my beautiful house.

Previously, I had co-workers who bore the brunt of my indignance. Alas, now it's just you. You're going to have to live with it, I fear.

I'm adding a new class to my curriculum

In addition to my standard educational class offerings of "If You're Going To Stop Walking, Move Out Of The Way" (MERE101) and "Don't Splash Freaking Water All Over The Sink" (MERE102), I am offering a new class.

It's going to be called, "If There Are 400 Other Parking Spaces Available And I've Got My Driver's Side Door Open, Park In Another GD Spot!!!!!!!!!!" (The exclamation points are actually part of the class listing, so don't forget if you go to register).

Sometimes I park in a parking lot, and--if the spot next to me is open (which it usually is, since I parked that way on purpose)--I've been known to open my driver's side door whilst I collect my things. If there are 4845825 other spaces open (including the one on the OTHER SIDE of my car--where the door IS NOT OPEN, don't freaking park behind my car waiting for me to close my damn door.

CAUSE I'M NOT GONNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'LL WAIT UNTIL YOU RUN OUT OF GAS BEFORE I CLOSE THAT DOOR. I'LL NEVER GET TIRED OF WAITING. I'LL SING HENRY THE 8TH I AM [go on ask Dave--I will] WHILE YOUR CAR IDLES TO A HALT!!!!!!!!

PARK SOMEWHERE FREAKING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Latest on Survivor: Guangzhou

We're still dragging our feet through paperwork. Last night I filled out my passport paperwork--I might be able to stop by the Post Office in time tonight to get it sent off.

Dave still has things to do too (like make his follow up Drs appointment, ahem).

It's a drug, I'm addicted

I'm having an affair--I'm in love with a website. It's called overheardinnewyork.com--it's a riot! It's a collection of things people overhear other people saying, plus the occasional contest for best headline.

It's, funny, but, uh, not censored in any way. An excerpt follows-->


I knew plaid wasn't back!

Girl: Is he gay or just Scottish?
Guy: Scottish.

Runner-Up headlines:·
"Aye, What Do Ye Mean, "Just" Scottish?!" - Tim·
"He Could Be Gay On His Mother's Side" - Dave Barnette·
"But he runs like a Welshman" - Todd·
"Braveheart: The Director's Cut" - Sam Donsky·
"Larry, Queen of Scots" - Dennis·
"He has a queer accent..." - kenton·
"Have any Scottish in you?" - lizzie·
"Love that wiggle when you walk away" - sumbum·
"It's funny because it's true" - this guy·
"He was just Scottish in college" - me·
"The sheep aren't safe either way" - Chris Crossland·
"The Ambiguity between European and Homosexual Continues...." - Rebecca O·

I'm an aunt!

Baby Charlotte Leigh A. was born Wednesday June 14th!

4lbs, 1 oz
17 inches long

Why do people say stupid things?

Yesterday I received a paper copyof a particular spreadsheet from my boss. She asked me to find out who holds the electronic version of the sheet.

The sheet records information from audits, so I called the audit dept., saying my area was trying to find out if anyone knew anything about this random sheet. I got a call back saying,

"I don't know anything about it, but why don't you try asking the person who gave it to you?"

No *h*t! I wish I had thought of that. "Does anyone know who stole my purse?". "No, but you could trying asking the person who stole your purse."

"Does anyone know who created this spreadsheet?". "No, but you could try asking the people who are asking you."

Baby niece will be coming soon!

My sister was admitted to the hospital overnight a couple weeks ago for symptoms of preeclampsia (swelling, high blood pressure, protein in the urine). A protein level over 300 (375, I think) ended her on home bed-rest with instructions to do a 24-hour urine collection test each week.

Well, the first at-home test showed things were getting worse more quickly than expected (they induce the baby at 5000 and the first at-home test had gone up to 1100), so she was readmitted to the hospital to stay until the baby came.

Both Meg and baby are doing all right (they're 34.5 weeks along right now), but Meg's blood pressure and protein levels continue to rise. The only treatment for preeclampsia is delivering the baby, so, sooner rather than later, I will have a baby niece!

I'll keep you all posted!

Weird benefits at Healthcare Company Y

Yes, I've noticed 3 weird benefits (so far) here at H.C. Y

1) Dry cleaning service: You drop off your clothes in the dry-cleaning closet, and 3 days later they show up again--clean. (With a bill, but still, it's cheap!). The bags you drop your stuff off in are purple, like the Knights of Columbus capes.

So--every time I walk past people's cubes, I'm like, "Whaaa? Knights of Columbus capes?"

2) Film drop off: Yes, not sooo unusual, but how many other people have a film drop off container in the cafeteria?

That's what I thought.

3) Free tampons: <-- (secret decoder mouse required). It's totally weird. When I first started in my temp job here, I saw a few of them sitting in the tampon vending machine and thought, "Huh--someone must have bought one and not needed it after all." But then I noticed that where one would generally put the coins, was a little metal disk that said FREE. In every machine I've seen so far--a disk that says FREE.

Corporate Meeting: "Ok, board of directors, we're going to offer health insurance, accidental death and dismemberment, supplemental life, and free tampons. I'd say that makes us competitive in our industry."

Weird. Nice, I suppose (those buggers can get expensive), but weird.

New Job--Day 3. Updates!

Departmental Amenities: Better. I found the sink, water cooler, and coffee machine. That plus the Oasis=better.

Lunch companionship: Worser! It's so lonely! Really lonely! I see my boss a few times a day and other than that, it's me and my desk. One woman did come over to talk to me yesterday and then got scolded in private for talking too much. (I suspect she's got a talking problem, though--I couldn't get her to stop and she kept repeating herself). I wish there were some folk my age here. Booooooo.

Network and email: Better. Phone now works and I've got real email and IM. Yay!

I just don't think I'm that difficult to understand

So, in order to update my information in Healthcare Company Y-Who, I needed to "activate" my changey-ness in that system. So I clicked on the "activate" button and filled in the info the boxes wanted--name, SSN, birthday, etc.

It said that I was not listed as an employee and to call my HR person. So I call and leave a message...

"Sue, this is Meredith, I am having trouble "activating" myself in Healthcare Company Y-Who. I've clicked on the button and entered my info. It says I'm not recognized as an employee and to call you."

So this is the return message I get this morning (from 10 pm last night, by the way--what the h*ll is wrong with people? If you got abducted by aliens, they'd just get someone to take your place. Normal people sleep at night.)

"Hi Meredith, this is Sue. In order to change your information, you just need to "activate" yourself by clicking on the "activate" button on the left hand side. Hope that helps!"

Seriously, what the f?