"Mairzydoats. It's everywhere you want to be"

Hi-LAR-ious!

I won't tell you what my first one said!

Try it out with things other than names too. Like "colonoscopy". Or "hangover". Or "food poisoning". Or "sweet love".

The fun is endless, really

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=mairzydoats

My new favorite blog that I didn't write:

http://www.thingsmyboyfriendsays.com

It's not nice. It's downright offensive. And I'm glad he's not my boyfriend.

But it's funny...

And now for something extra super creepy looking

http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/science/01/24/shark.japan.reut/index.html

Just when you thought it was okay to go back in the--hey, what the h*ll is that?!?

I never did update on the glasses I'm not wearing

So apparently I've got 20/40 vision, which doesn't really surprise me. I've decided to obtain glasses (note I didn't say "get", b/c that would imply I'm going to wear them, which I'm not).

I'm mostly getting them because I do concede that they'd be useful at night when trying to read streetsigns. And also, I don't want to go to renew my driver's license, not pass the vision test, and not be able to drive home.

But I'm not going to wear them. Really. As I was picking them out, I think I drove the girl crazy, b/c I kept telling her that it was okay that they're going to be fragile and that they didn't have scratch coating, b/c they'll be perfectly safe in their little case that I never plan on opening.

I just feel like if I wear them, then my eyes (and brain) will get used to, you know, seeing, and then when I don't ahave them on I won't be able to see.

Case in point? Dave.
2001: Glasses when driving.
2007: Glasses or contacts during every breathing minute he's not sleeping.

Besides, I think cavemen still successfully hunted wooly mammoths with 20/40 vision.

[I am kind of excited to get them, though. I think they're pretty cute. Not on me, of course, but objectively cute. We'll see (so to speak).]

Give me your opinions on mp3 players...

I got an iPod shuffle for Xmas, but after thinking about the fact that it has no screen and I'd have to sift thru to find a song I want (like, say, Michael Jackson for a couch surfing demonstration, for example), I decided to return it. It was so small--I really liked it.*

My phone has an mp3 player built in, but I don't always want to have it sitting out on my desk and stuff.

The thing is, I don't know what to replace the Shuffle with. I mean, I'd be leaning toward the iPod mini (I like the red one), but I wonder how annoying it is that the files one gets from iTunes are officially supposed to play only on Apple products.

Do anyone have an opinion? Can iTunes files (.AAC, I believe) be burned to CD and reemerge as an .mp3 file (like so Dave and I could illicitly share songs?)?

And--can anyonetj explain what Zune is?

Help!

*http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GQBABkFI34
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Eye doctor say huh?

So, in April of 2005, at the ripe age of 30, I made my first pilgrimmage to an eye doctor.

DB had always picked on me for my squinting habit, and, so, delighted in the fact that I finally did go. Now, I admit that I could benefit from corrective vision in the short term (more on that later), but I really went because I was getting bright flashes of light and dark spot in my vision.

And I thought, if my retinas are detaching, I should probably be aware of that.

Well, the retinas weren't detaching, but after the doctor looked at my dilated eyes with that blue and white light thingy, he sat back and just said, "Huh." It turns out my vitreouses were detaching, which is normal when you're 50. Which I'm not. So I've got that going for me. (Which is nice.)

"Come back in 6 months"..skip, skip, skip...I was supposed to go back for a checkup in Oct 2005, but I didn't. I went back yesterday.

It's a new doctor this time and I had told him about the previous doctor and my detaching vitrei and so on and so forth.

So he's looking at my eyes, again with the blue and white light machine, and I'm telling him how the old doctor looked at my eyes and just said "Huh". This doc made a noise that gave me the impression that he felt like the old doc wasn't very good at what he did. As soon as I finished my little story, what did he do?

Sat back in his chair and said, "Huh." "I've never seen anything like this." And this doc was an optometrist in the military where there are a lot of eyeballs. We looked in the weird eye stuff book, and it wasn't even listed in there either.

I'm really glad that I can't have something normal wrong with me.

Apparently it's something weird with my lens and he's going to talk to his eye friends and get back to me.


Greaaaat.

Next chapter: I'm not wearing them anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

Maybe I Have a Concussion...

... a.k.a: This Is What Happens When You Burn The Candle At Both Ends

...a.a.k.a: Fun Things To Do In McHenry County In Winter


Oh, I have a headache. I've had 6 Excedrin so far in this 24 hour period. I had a little bit of it last night when I went to bed, but then it came back with prejudice at 1241 this morning.

At that point, I realized it was a migraine, whereas when I went to bed, I thought, "it's probably just a concussion."

Which bring me to my first fun thing to do in McHenry County (not necessarily in order of experience)
1) A warehouse full of moon jumps
This particular one is called Bounces R Us (in Richmond) and we went for the 3rd birthday party of one of the kids. I had forgotten, a little, how much fun moon jumps were. The kids had such a good time!

I had also forgotten how much enjoyment 8-10 adults can have when they really should be setting a better example. We tried out several of the jumps, including getting a lot of enjoyment out of seeing which of the boys could make it over the hill on the Spiderman jump (heave...heave...). Also enjoyable? Seeing 2 men dashed to the ground when the inflatable side of the jump suddenly collapses.

My favorite, however, was the fire truck. At least I think it was a fire truck. When you're bouncing around upside down on the inside of something, sometimes it's hard to tell. Anyway, it consisted of a port in the side for entering (or being thrown thru, which was also enjoyable), a landing zone, a stairway of sorts (which was really hard to scale--especially while carrying a 4 year old on one's back), and a giant slide.

Now, it was pretty fun to just slide down the slide, but it's even funner to race up the ladder and then cannonball down the slide, seeing how many times you can "skip" yourself before coming to a crashing halt upsidedown in the pile of laughing people sitting at the bottom, having moonjumpburn not only on your exposed elbows, but also on your ribcage. And maybe your face.

Sniff, I miss my college days.

2) Another fun thing to do in the McH in winter is this: DANCE LESSONS!
Dave got me private dance lessons for me for a Xmas present, partly b/c I love to dance, but also b/c I delight in picking on him for the frowny dance face he makes.

Our lessons were Sat am and I picked swing and salsa. I already love swing dancing, so that was all good already. The salsa was fun too! Dave hardly made any dance face at all!

Here's the contact info if you want to try it out. They also teach group lessons at some of the local park districts and some dance studios. So fun!

Frank and Jackie Penze (professional ballroom dance [and other dances] instructors): dancelessons@dancefoxvalley.org

3) All skate, change directions!
If you know what that means, then you and I are near the same age! And you, like I, spent some of your childhood in the roller rink. On Saturday afternoon, I went with an adult birthday party crowd to the roller rink in McHenry.

Since it was a 31 Going On 13 party, we were all dressed in our 13-year-old finery.
Most of us didn't fall (although there was one broken wrist--Michelle's aunt--hope she recovers quickly!).

The rink is as standardly grimy as I always remember them being, sighhh, and the snack bar served chips with that great orange cheesy goo. Ahhh, nostalgia...

http://www.justforfunrollerrink.com/months/january/januaryindex.htm

NYE Award List!

We were the the drunkest fools there!
(but only some of us were sick the next day...hmmm...which ones?)
Our names are Eddie, Heather, Larry A, Meredith, Stefanie, Jenn, and Jackie!

Could I have been any whinier?
(it's been independently verified, so, apparently not ;)
My name is Heather!

Everybody there saw our cleavage!
(Cleavages?)
Our names are Jackie and Meredith!

We were wearing red underwear!
(We were sooo hot...in our own opinions...)
Our names are Bobby R, Mary T, and Meredith!

The food I made was so good!
(peanut butter s'mores are like manna from heaven...i did so make them myself!...yes without Bobby's help!)
My name is Jackie!

I was a karaoke soooperstar!
(and I'm too sexy for this karaokemachine)
My name is Joe!

I whooped your asses in Sequence!
(Yeah I did! Then I rocked it Piggy-style)
My name is Bobby!

No I love you man!
(no, dude, listen...really...I love you...)
My name is Larry A!

I mixed beer and liquor on NYE, just like they say not to!
(and I've been seen upright since then, so word is, I survived...)
My name is Jenn!

NYE video, take 2

Okay, I've fooled around with the settings--if you tried and couldn't see them before, try again. Voila!

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.myvideos&MyToken=3b8fed91-6af3-44e1-99a7-b895092b1a1f

So, as my cats sat on the bathroom sink this morning, waiting for the wildebeast to show up...

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Every morning, while I'm brushing my teeth and such, I fill the other sink in our bathroom with water, so Lincoln and Piper can get a drink. Usually, the littleun will perch on the edge of the sink, take a drink, and leave.

The biggun, needing to be different at all costs, will duck walk his feet down the inside of the sink until his paws are just above the edge of the water. He'll then lean over (like you may have seen giraffes on Nova doing at African watering holes), take a ridiculously extended drink of water, stick his paw in--only to then flick the water all over the mirror--and then leave.

This morning, after taking their drinks, the smittens sat there at the sink for about 25 minutes, looking at the water.

I told Dave--and Lincoln and Piper, although they just nodded their heads and went back to staring at the water--it's not like a wildebeast or a gazelle or a zebra is going to show up in the bathroom. Unless you come across some errant boxelder zebra, there's not going to be any dramatic prey thing you're going to be able relate to your cat friends over the suburban catdrum network.

And this got me thinking...

Wouldn't it be great--and it wouldn't really have to made of actual zebra--if they sold cat food that was labeled as Zebra Grill or Gazelle in Sauce? I'd get so much more enjoyment out of feeding my cats if I could dish out some Wildebeast Stew.

Of course, I'd have to tell the cats it was zebra or gazelle or wildebeast, since they can't read, but I think they'd appreciate it.

Maybe the cat food companies could come up with some artificial zebra flavoring?

You know, so the cats aren't like, "Hey--this tastes suspiciously like Mixed Grill!".
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Hey non-McHenry county readers...

...with all the New Year's Eve postings going on lately, I don't want those of you who aren't in the area to feel left out.

So, hey, all you Missourians and Pennsylvanites who might be reading!

All you Oregonians or Wisconsinites.

All you randomblog websurfers.

Just because you won't find karaoke video of yourself singing your somewhat drunken heart out on myspace, that doesn't mean we don't care here.

In fact, send me your drunken karaoke video clips and I'll post them for all to see. I'm equal opportunity right--I wouldn't want you not to be embarrassed, just 'cause you weren't there :)

NYE video posted on myspace!

Hi all,
So there are some clips of the midnight to 4am karaoke binge posted on myspace. Don't worry--the files are marked private and are copy-protected, so at least you shouldn't find yourself on WebJunk20 on VH1 anytime soon!


http://www.myspace.com/mairzydoats

Movie Review: A Night at the Museum

So, Dean (of WGN's "Dean's List") gave this movie a D-. I was really disappointed, since the commercials had me wanting to see it. Well, this weekend, we threw caution to the wind and went to see it with the S and L of Johnsburg. If I didn't feel this way before, I certainly feel this way now: I just don't usually agree with the movie reviewers.

Is it going to win an Oscar?. No, it's a movie about a night guard at a museum where things come to life at night. This is not On Golden Pond. But--it was funny and I liked it.

Cute Persons to look at (0-5): 3. Depends on your preferences. I've always though Ben Stiller was cute and shapely, so I though there was at least a decent cute person to look at. Plus, the girl who plays the museum docent was pretty cute too, in a scholarly way, so there might be a little something for the guys as well. For the older crowd? Dick Van Dyke is in it, and the scenes that run during the credits show that ole' Dick's still got it. Give him a Cockney accent and it could have been Mary Poppins all over again!

As an aside, Ben Stiller is one of the best runners I've seen in any movie. You know how some people look like newborn giraffes when they run? Not Ben. In fact, I was sitting there wondering when they'd make him run somewhere (as they do in every movie he's in--just watch the next time you see one*), when off he went, across the museum! He's really, really fast (and cute)!

A Satisfying Ending (0-5): 5. I love movies with good endings! Without giving too much away, regarding: the girl, the boy, the kid, the evil-doers, the animals, Teddy Roosevelt, and Attila the Hun; it was very satisfying. I walked out smiling and that's my favorite kind of movie!

Action/ adventureness (0-5): 3. It's no Terminator, but yeah, there was a lot of running around and action and crazy antics. Thoroughly enjoyable! I even liked Owen Wilson, whom I usually think is a bit of a manwhore.

We liked it; the kids behind us (when they weren't stage-whispering, "no, mom, the popcorn!!!") liked it; the kid who did a triple-lindy off the bottom step of the mezzanine, spilling all his popcorn in a somewhat amazing arc, but never dropping the container or his self-possession? He liked it too.

Love storyness (0-5): 1. There was a little bit of flirtation, but not much of a love story. That's okay, it didn't take away from the enjoyment.

Good Scaryness (0-5, optional): NA. It wasn't really intended to be scary. Unless you've got a Hun thing.

Kissing (1-5): 0. There's not any kissing that I recall. I always think kissing makes a movie better, but in this one, it's okay. I can live without it. I think.

Cinematography/Special effects (0-5): 4. They were pretty good. Probably the stars of the movie, honestly, but that doesn't mean the rest of the movie suffered. Not like "Wow, technology is truly amazing"-good, but more like "Man, their writers really had some good ideas--good thing the CG people could come through"-good.

Laughs (1-5): 4. I laughed a lot. Good, clean, kids-and-adults-would-both-think-it's-funny-although-maybe-in-different-parts, enjoyable laughter. I do think that adults would think it's funnier than kids would (we laughed more than the kids behind us), but I don't think the kids would even know they're not laughing at all the funny parts, so they'd never be the wiser. And that's fine.

Extra Credit (10 points): 8. I can't give away what I thought was the best part, but if you've ever had a dog that fetches, you'll laugh a lot. :)

Total: 28/30.

*You know how Neve Campbell always has her mouth open? Kind of like that. You just wait for it to happen, cause you know it's coming...

Happy New Years! (Part I)

Well, I, for one, had so much fun at the NYE party!

Things I've learned from having a NYE party...
There were 51 people there, I believe, including the kids. At least that's the best estimate I can come up with now. 51 people bring a lot of food. Mmmm, food.

A bunch of people and kids were there at midnight to ring in the new year, fewer people were there around 4am when karaoke wound down, I went to bed at 430ish, around 13 people stayed over, the JV squad apparently stayed up until 7(!), it looked like Jonestown in the living room until about 9pm last night.

Clear plastic champagne flutes have a tendency to splash your drink if you set them down too quickly.

Flirtinis hurt like a b*tch if you get them in your eye (see above). Although, one of your friends may kindly offer to let you rinse it out with some of their beer.

Beer bottles bounce when they hit the floor. Red glass champagne flutes, not so much.

Neither Chuck nor Larry will let you paint their toenails blue. Even when they've been drinking. Even if you ask really nicely and offer 2 shades of blue.

Karaoke roulette rocks. Who cares if you've got a good singing voice if you're not the one who picked out the song. Everybody can sing Sexual Healing...you just have to try...

Now, Ed ain't sayin' you a golddigger...

Drunk people will play the h*ll out of little wooden instruments and a few tambourines.

A group of 5 year old girls singing Pussycat Dollz "Don't Cha" is the funniest thing ever. So's having it on tape for future blackmail.

Abby K likes giving people tours of the upstairs of my house. Particularly the master bathtub.

Italian beef should stay where you put it.

The Superlatives nominations list from the fridge will be posted tomorrow, but Bobby R, Mary T, and I were all wearing red underwear.

Purple Hooters taste like poison.

Peanut butter S'mores do not taste like poison, however. They taste gooood.

It gets really cold in the basement at night, in winter. Particularly when Meredith opens the window during karaoke and never closes it.



.....more to follow....

I think I may be on the other side of my favorite Xmas present!

BIL NIck is apparently still sick, but I think I'm all better now. Only 5 days of feeling like death!

A guy here at work wonderd if I was Hepatitis A. I had wondered the same thing...