A fistful of spoons

Not that spoons aren't funny enough already, but I was just walking back to my desk from the (underwhelming) cafe with a handful of spoons.

(I keep plasticware at my desk so I don't have to carry it back every time.)

As I walked, a guy came up fast behind me and passed me, whistling and singing a song as he went. What was he singing?

La...lala...a..fistful...of...spoons...

I love people :)


He was, however, one of those tiny-waisted men, which I find weird. If I were a guy with a tiny waist, I'd gain some weight to disguise the weirdness. If I were one of those large-rear guys, well, I just don't know what I'd do.

Movie Review: Snakes on a Plane

So, the most-oft quoted line from this movie ("I've had it with these *&$%#& snakes on this %&&^* plane"), I really do not think is very funny. And, really I didn't think I'd like this movie at all (I really went just to earn points with my husband), but...

Cute Persons to look at (1-5): 1.5. Well--there's a miscellaneous surfer dude and a miscellaneous blonde stewardess. Plus Juliana Margulies and Samuel Jackson each have a bit of charm to them, but this movie is not about good looks. It's about snakes.

A Satisfying Ending (1-5): 5. Rarely do I get to see a movie where it's all wrapped up at the end! After all, there's not much left to talk about once the Snakes Are Not On The Plane.

Action/ adventureness (1-5): 3. You have to accept what you're watching with this movie. It's Snakes on a Plane.

It's a premature cult classic (and by cult classic, I mean a movie that really isn't that thrilling or well made, but the more you watch it, the more you are entranced by its not-that-good-ness. Its mystique is enhanced by repeated watchings with your friends where you all laugh hysterically at things that aren't really all that funny. And you know all the lines. Like The Rocky Horror Picture Show or The Princess Bride or Napoleon Dynamite or Caddyshack.)

Anyway--there was action/adventureness, and as long as you can accept that it was Snakes. On. A. Plane. , it was pretty enjoyable

Love storyness (1-5): 1. There was a little surfer dude/stewardess thing and a little other main characters thing (including a great sly grin from SJ), but again, S.O.A.P. This movie is very focused on its goal.

Good Scaryness (1-5, optional): 1. There were a few good scenes that make you jump, but it's not really scary. Unless you are afraid to board a screaming tube of aluminum death* (this would be the Plane part)--score of 4 in that case. Or you're snakeophobic (the Snakes part)--score of 5.

Kissing (1-5): 1. Honestly, I don't think there was any kissing. I know, right? And I don't think I would have missed that part, because, really, that's the best part of any movie.

Cinematography/ Special effects (1-5): 3. There were a lot of effects, but they weren't very good. Not not-enjoyable, just not good. Although the Plane effects were very good in comparison to the Snake ones.

Laughs (1-5): 3. Good laughs. Sometimes you're laughing with it, sometimes you're laughing at it, but they're there. They are there.

Extra Credit (10 points): 5. In spite of myself, I liked it. It's no masterpiece, but I liked it.

Total: 23.5 out of 45. As they say, it is what it is. It's Snakes On A Plane. I would even go see it again.

*Courtesy B.I.L.

Great--*now* what's she going to serve us??!?!

My whole life, My Very Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pies!

Now Pluto's not a planet anymore. Crap! A whole life's worth of pneumonic education down the tubes.


At least KingdonPhylumClassOrderFamilyGenusSpecies still holds true. For now...

Really, 5 day headache.

...sniff...

I love stuff like this!!!

I think it might be because I really wanted to be an archaeologist when I grew up. However, the pay and the fact that one had to leave McHenry County to do it, kind of turned me off. But I still love finding things in unexpected places!

I think that's why I'm lovin' www.bookcrossing.com! Basically, you have a book you no longer want. You go to BC and get your book a Book Crossing ID number (BCID), which you record in the book, along with the BC website. Then, you set your book free into the wild!

Leave it at a coffee shop, or on a park bench, or on the shelf at Jewel, or at the train station. Where ever you like. The next person to find your book can look it up and see where it's been.

It's sounds so fun--and since we've got a high excess of book at my house, I can't wait to try!

There's also www.wheresgeorge.com, which is the same thing, only with dollar bills.

China Update: Part 97

Today, I'm mailing off Dave's employment letter, which I had, but forgot to send last week. That leaves:

Dave making (and keeping) a Dr appt
Sending off Dave's medical paperwork
Dave going to the post office to send off his passport application
Dave calling the sheriff to see what's involved in getting a background check

Is it even possible to have a headache for 5 days?

Shouldn't, at some point, the ache run through all the available brain cells and make itself whole again? Kind of like people would talk about drinking themselves sober in college? (Which I never really believed, anyway)

Today I had to exercise the 3 Outfit Rule.

In my late college/early working years, I found it necessary to institute the 3 Outfit Rule.

I found that I would be trying to find something to wear out or to work and would end up with the entire contents of my closet thrown all over my bed. Now, this didn't mean that I did find something good to wear, it just meant that when I came home I would either have to:

A) Hang it all back up before going to bed (right...)
B) Pile it up on my rocking chair or (if I had been at Sundance)
C) Shove it all on to the floor and fall asleep

I eventually got tired of it, and so began: The 3 Outfit Rule. The guidelines are really pretty simple. I allow myself to pull 3 seperate outfits' worth of clothes out of my closet (ie, 3 tops and 3 bottoms).

At that point, even if I hate everything that's on the bed, I must make today outfit from what's already out. Otherwise I get frustrated and just keep yanking things out of the closet, and really, what's the point in that?

Today my choices were:

Tops: White linen shirt/raspberry tank top, black shirt, and periwinkle shirt
and
Bottoms: Black pants, khaki skirt, and Giant Cherry Pants(!)

Unfortunately, I didn't decide I hated anything until I had ironed 4 of the 6 above items. (though I do love ironing). I eventually went with the periwinkle shirt and khaki skirt.

Those were the only ones I didn't want to rip off in anger and stomp on.

Everything else? Lying on my bed, of course.

What is it with people?

So, my job is, currently, tracking down resolution to audit findings (see below). I usually start with email, then voice mail, then return receipted email, sometimes even Post-Its left on their computer screen.

I know they're seeing my missives, they're just ignoring them. It's like ignoring the IRS! These people should know better. These people make a lot more money than I do. They have offices with doors. *sigh...doors... Sometimes you have to trade some things for others. Your boss's boss knowing your name for adoption assistance. Doors for trouble-free health insurance. Life's all about decisions.

So, I eventually schedule a meeting via email for us to sit together, which is usually accepted, because their assistants run their calendars and the admins don't ignore stuff.

Invariably, the meeting starts, I ask my questions, they give me the answers, and the whole thing is done in 10 minutes. Then the object of my work affection says, "Boy, we really didn't have to meet to do that, it didn't take very long!"

You're g-d right we didn't have to meet, you jerk! You've been ignoring me for 2 weeks! We coould have done this over the phone! It's not like I'm going to go away, it's my job to track you down and force you to give me an answer. Arrrrghhhhhhh!

Jeez.


Audit Findings--> Basically, the FDA or another auditing body comes in and pokes around our stuff. When they find something they don't like, they write down an audit observation (or finding). We then have to fix that and provide proof of the fixing. The observations I'm working on are from 2004 and 2005 audits by a particular auditing body. This body is coming back this fall and is going to be right pissed off to find that stuff from 2 years ago isn't done.

But, it's not going to be my tail in the audit chair answering "why". That honor is reserved for the non-phone-answerers. And I tell them this in every email, voice mail, and meeting. I just don't think they're listening...

Our niecey has hit the 8 pound mark!

Amazingly, her 5-8 pound clothing still doesn't fit, but just like women's clothes, the labeled size probably has little to do with what size the item actually is.


...well, I declare, this 5-8 pounds sundress is just falling off me...

Mmmmm, lunch

http://pbskids.org/backyardjungle/discovery/control.php?id=376084&action=detail

Message in a Bottle?

Apparently you can now send e-messages in a bottle! With http://www.oceangram.com/, it seems like you can send a message or watch your screen for messages from other places.

I haven't seen a message floating in the water yet, but I'm watchin'...

So I mailed a big chunk of paperwork to the CW

yesterday. When she gets it, she'll sort thru and tell us what we're still missing.

Dave still has to:
Make a Dr appt
Keep that Dr appt
Call the sheriff about the background check
Fill out and mail his passport application

Movie Review: Pirates 2 (aka less knee slapping, more arrrghhh.)

Cute Persons to look at (1-5): 3. This one is kind of in the middle. If you think Orlando Bloom is cute, then yes. I don't think he's cute (vaguely appealing as an arrow-slinging elf, but otherwise, no).

If you think Johnny Depp is cute, then also yes. I, for some reason, only think he's cute as Captain Jack Sparrow (maybe it's the eyeliner?), so it works for me.

Also, I don't think I have a large guy readership, but for any guy readers, Keira Knightley. All guys like her, it seems.

A satisfying ending (1-5): 2. We all know there's going to be another movie, so then ending is left purposefully hanging. Not hanging in a oh-I-can't-wait-to-see-the-next-movie way, but in a well-I-heard-there-was-another-one-in-the-works way.

Action/ adventureness (1-5): 3. Pretty good action adventure. The pirate stuff was good (heavily borrowed from Errol Flynn, but there's no shame in borrowing from a pirate master). The C.G. stuff? Eh. I wasn't that impressed, although it was well done. It's just, I went to a pirate movie to see, well, pirate-y stuff.

Love storyness (1-5): 2. There was the same Elizabeth Swan/Will Turner love story from Pirates 1, but this time with a little something different.

Good Scaryness (1-5, optional): N/A. Not scary, except the CG might be scary for little kids.

Kissing (1-5): 3. There was kissing, but it's not who you think. It was a much better choice, however, a mon avis.

Once again, I would have gone with more making out. But that's just me.

Cinematography/ Special effects (1-5): 4. The CG was good, even though I didn't like it. The pirate cinematography was well done.

Laughs (1-5): 2. Some good laughs, but a little too much slapstick, a little too little tongue-in-cheek

Extra Credit (10 points): -2. I found myself wishing for less Leslie Nielsen, more Errol Flynn

Total: 17 out of 45. Didn't really like it, except for Captain Jack and the swashbuckling scenes. The first was much better.

In other words, next time? Less knee slapping, more arrrghhh.

Oh, I had so much fun on Saturday!

We went to a wedding of friends of ours and had such a good time! I have to admit, I wanted to stay home, just a little bit. We know both the bride and the groom (Dave has known the groom for several years, now). The bride is from a big local family and I just didn't know if we would really know anyone else there.

What I had forgotten was that I knew a bunch of her friends, and her cousin-in-law, and her brother, and her other cousin and her husband, and another of her cousins (who has been to our house), oh, and that cousin's wife (whom I didn't think I knew, but it turns out we went to grade school together in a completely different town)!

It was so fun! We danced and drank vodka cranberry (well, I did, but whatever) and danced. Sigh, I miss dancing.

The girl I went to school with said she recognized me across the church. So, apparently I haven't changed in 20 years. I still haven't decided whether that means I look youngish now, or that I looked oldish then. Hmmmm...

China, part 73...

Our financial and criminal affadavit forms are notarized! I'm planning on going to the PO today to mail them off.