Not gay. Transvestite, yes, but not gay.
Learn something new every day.
Monday, July 31, 2006
The latest on China, Part 72..
Let's see, what do we still need?
Dave has to make and go to a doctor's appointment
Dave has to pick up his doctor's paperwork
Dave has to call the sheriff to get background check for us
Dave has to submit his passport application
Dave has to get a bunch of paperwork notarized
I have to get the same bunch of paperwork notarized
I have to get my passport back from the government
I have to send a bunch of stuff to the CW
So, we get all the stuff to the CW, she finishes our home study, we send a whole pile of paperwork (including the home study) to the government and receive an I171H in return. We take the I171H, along with a bunch of paperwork that didn't go to the CW and bring it downtown to get it stamped, then take it to the Chinese consulate down the street to get it stamped again. Then the whole pile goes to China and we get a date (LID) in return.
Then we wait.
Dave has to make and go to a doctor's appointment
Dave has to pick up his doctor's paperwork
Dave has to call the sheriff to get background check for us
Dave has to submit his passport application
Dave has to get a bunch of paperwork notarized
I have to get the same bunch of paperwork notarized
I have to get my passport back from the government
I have to send a bunch of stuff to the CW
So, we get all the stuff to the CW, she finishes our home study, we send a whole pile of paperwork (including the home study) to the government and receive an I171H in return. We take the I171H, along with a bunch of paperwork that didn't go to the CW and bring it downtown to get it stamped, then take it to the Chinese consulate down the street to get it stamped again. Then the whole pile goes to China and we get a date (LID) in return.
Then we wait.
It wouldn't be the first time I've driven home without pants
Man, I really want to go out dancing. If anyone goes dancing, will you invite me? (Gonna Get Thru This by Daniel Bedingfield--an excellent song to get one in the dancing mood). Perhaps not surprisingly, it's the song I'm listening to right now.
Along with Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, Lionel Richie, Glenn Miller, The Archies, and Floyd Cramer. I'm, uh, a little eclectic in my music tastes.
It was a really busy weekend for us! Memorial service at 10, baptism at 1 in the same church, 2pm birthday party (that we arrived to late), and then Dave had a concert at night. All of which were attended in the lovely 368 degrees Kelvin heat.
Luckily, the birthday party house had a pool. Unluckily, I didn't bring my suit. I thought of going in in my clothes, but I didn't.
Should have.
It wouldn't be the first time I've driven home without pants. Which isn't how it sounds (ah ze swimming eet ees irresistable). Now the red carpet on the ceiling of that house on Grandview, that was really something, but that's another story for another time.
Along with Fall Out Boy, Panic! At the Disco, Lionel Richie, Glenn Miller, The Archies, and Floyd Cramer. I'm, uh, a little eclectic in my music tastes.
It was a really busy weekend for us! Memorial service at 10, baptism at 1 in the same church, 2pm birthday party (that we arrived to late), and then Dave had a concert at night. All of which were attended in the lovely 368 degrees Kelvin heat.
Luckily, the birthday party house had a pool. Unluckily, I didn't bring my suit. I thought of going in in my clothes, but I didn't.
Should have.
It wouldn't be the first time I've driven home without pants. Which isn't how it sounds (ah ze swimming eet ees irresistable). Now the red carpet on the ceiling of that house on Grandview, that was really something, but that's another story for another time.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
PSA for Citibank customers
The public service announcement is at the bottom, if you want to cut to the chase.
I have both a Citibank credit card and a Citimortgage. Plus, I've had Citicards in the past. I feel I can, therefore, say that Citibank is the worst offender I've ever known for sending jobs overseas and then pretending they didn't.
Like today, for instance (and this experience is only the most recent in a long line of similar events), I call and after the button pushing was over, a customer service rep comes on the line--Glenn, he said his name was.
Immediately, I can tell that it's the same old Citibank story. A person comes on the line and the English they speak sounds like those computers that turn text into speech--all stilted and such.
I find it infuriating!!!!!!! If a company is going to ship the call center overseas, at least have the b*lls to admit it. Your name is not freaking Glenn! No one with that heavy an accent is named Glenn freaking anywhere in the world! Your stilted, fake, and unsuccessful voice coaching does not fool me!
Here is an example of the many conversations I have had with Citibank Bangalore or where ever it is:
"This is [fake] Susan, how may I help you?"
"Hi, I have a question about payments made on my account"
"What is your question?"
"I received a call that you had not received my payment, but the money has been withdrawn from my account, and it also shows paid on your website. Will you tell me what your records show for this payment?"
"This is [fake] Susan, how may I help you?"
You can understand my frustration. So--at one point last winter, when I had finally gotten someone who was a practiced English speaker (and had a Midwestern accent) I snapped, and ranted and raved about how much I hated Citibank Bangalore.
She told me that there are 2 call centers over in (I can't remember where she said, so I'm calling it Bangalore) and one in Kansas City, MO. She said that which one your call gets routed to is random chance , so the next time I get Bangalore, hang up and try again.
So today I did--I just hung up on Glenn and redialed and got RUFUS in KANSAS CITY!
I've never been so happy in my whole damned life.
I have both a Citibank credit card and a Citimortgage. Plus, I've had Citicards in the past. I feel I can, therefore, say that Citibank is the worst offender I've ever known for sending jobs overseas and then pretending they didn't.
Like today, for instance (and this experience is only the most recent in a long line of similar events), I call and after the button pushing was over, a customer service rep comes on the line--Glenn, he said his name was.
Immediately, I can tell that it's the same old Citibank story. A person comes on the line and the English they speak sounds like those computers that turn text into speech--all stilted and such.
I find it infuriating!!!!!!! If a company is going to ship the call center overseas, at least have the b*lls to admit it. Your name is not freaking Glenn! No one with that heavy an accent is named Glenn freaking anywhere in the world! Your stilted, fake, and unsuccessful voice coaching does not fool me!
Here is an example of the many conversations I have had with Citibank Bangalore or where ever it is:
"This is [fake] Susan, how may I help you?"
"Hi, I have a question about payments made on my account"
"What is your question?"
"I received a call that you had not received my payment, but the money has been withdrawn from my account, and it also shows paid on your website. Will you tell me what your records show for this payment?"
"This is [fake] Susan, how may I help you?"
You can understand my frustration. So--at one point last winter, when I had finally gotten someone who was a practiced English speaker (and had a Midwestern accent) I snapped, and ranted and raved about how much I hated Citibank Bangalore.
She told me that there are 2 call centers over in (I can't remember where she said, so I'm calling it Bangalore) and one in Kansas City, MO. She said that which one your call gets routed to is random chance , so the next time I get Bangalore, hang up and try again.
So today I did--I just hung up on Glenn and redialed and got RUFUS in KANSAS CITY!
I've never been so happy in my whole damned life.
More websites
I also like...
1) http://www.woot.com/
One thing for sale each day until the item is gone. The stuff's name brand and pretty cheap! Phones, coffee makes, caneras, stereos. It's liquidation stuff from a major electronics company.
2) http://www.silverjewelryclub.com/default.asp?affid=
Real silver, real gemstones. For FREE! You only pay shipping. I looked this up b/c I found it to be a litle suspicious and read that it's a major jewelry manufacturer that trying out new items and clearing overstocks on this site for free!
*It's pie. And chips. For free. But pie and chips? Ah, you can get them anywhere. Silver jewelry made from scratch...just for you.
Four real silver items for sale for a specified time (like 4 mins, 57 seconds). Then something new pops up.
3) http://www.stumbleupon.com/
Bored? This site is great. Instead of thinking up your own websites to peruse, S.U. does it for you. It's like internet roulette--you never know where it's going to end up.
1) http://www.woot.com/
One thing for sale each day until the item is gone. The stuff's name brand and pretty cheap! Phones, coffee makes, caneras, stereos. It's liquidation stuff from a major electronics company.
2) http://www.silverjewelryclub.com/default.asp?affid=
Real silver, real gemstones. For FREE! You only pay shipping. I looked this up b/c I found it to be a litle suspicious and read that it's a major jewelry manufacturer that trying out new items and clearing overstocks on this site for free!
*It's pie. And chips. For free. But pie and chips? Ah, you can get them anywhere. Silver jewelry made from scratch...just for you.
Four real silver items for sale for a specified time (like 4 mins, 57 seconds). Then something new pops up.
3) http://www.stumbleupon.com/
Bored? This site is great. Instead of thinking up your own websites to peruse, S.U. does it for you. It's like internet roulette--you never know where it's going to end up.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
New favorite websites of mine
http://www.stuffonmycat.com/ is a riot. It's exactly as it sounds.
And, also, if you want 5798423 funny t-shirts (I think the last time I searched, it gave me 5429 pages to look at), try http://www.cafepress.com/
And, also, if you want 5798423 funny t-shirts (I think the last time I searched, it gave me 5429 pages to look at), try http://www.cafepress.com/
For you new readers...
...don't forget to use your secret decoder mouse.
It makes for better reading, really. Of course, if you choose, you can avoid all the random sniping and miscellaneous commentary. Oh, and the semi-obscure movie references.
But why would you want to do that?
It makes for better reading, really. Of course, if you choose, you can avoid all the random sniping and miscellaneous commentary. Oh, and the semi-obscure movie references.
But why would you want to do that?
Pain relievers in a nutshell.**
- Aspirin: Originally derived from willow bark
- Acetaminophen (or paracetemol): Tylenol
- Ibuprofen: Advil, Motrin, etc
- Naproxen sodium: Aleve, Naprosyn
1) Most people are familiar with aspirin--it's been around forever. It's an a fever reducer, an anti-inflammatory* (reduces swelling) and an analgesic (relieves pain).
The Good: It's got a very long history of safety and, recently, it's made new fame as a useful blood thinner.
The Bad: It's been linked to Reye's Syndrome in children and teens, it can bug some people's stomachs (although coated, or enteric, aspirin seems to help), and then there's the blood thinning aspect. It can be a double edged sword.
2) Acetaminophen (called paracetemol across The Pond) has also been around a while. It's a fever reducer and analgesic--no anti-inflammatory action here.
The Good: Safe for kids, babies, pregnant/nursing women. Pretty much safe all around.
The Bad: A lot of people feel it isn't very effective. The biggest thing is that now there's speculation that at dosages over 4 extra strength caplets per day, serious liver damage can result. This is also seen when people take Tylenol during/after drinking alcohol.
3) Ibuprofen. This is the main reason I am writing this missive. Advil, Children's Advil/Motrin, Medipren, Motrin, Nuprin, Pediacare Fever etc. It's all the same drug. Motrin can't work better than Advil because Motrin IS ADVIL! It's all the same stuff!!!!!
Okay, so, ibuprofen is also an NSAID. It used to be restricted to kids over 12, but not anymore.
The Good: It's an NSAID.
The Bad: I'm not really aware of too much bad about it, other than its obvious drug-ness, although I have heard that people with asthma sometimes are bothered by ibuprofen,
4) Naproxen sodium was prescription-only for a long time (Naprosyn, Anaprox, Naprelan). Now, it's available over the counter as Aleve (the little blue ovals). Apparently you get to take fewer of them per day, but for me, Aleve never works. Really.
The Good: It's an NSAID
The Bad: Some of the same problems with the other NSAIDs, including increased stomach/bleeding issues.
The Miscellaneous
- Extra-Strength Excedrin and Excedrin Migraine are the exact same thing. 250 mg aspirin, 250 mg acetaminophen, and 65 mg caffeine. The Excedrin company got permission from the FDA to market the same drug in 2 different ways. Maybe the migraine version works better for you? It's probably psychosomatic, but as long as the headache goes away, who cares if it's psychomatic. (Just don't buy it b/c they say it's different--it's not)
- Vicodin is acetaminophen plus hydrocodone (a drug in the codeine family)
- Vicoprofen is prescription ibuprofen plus hydrocodone
- Percocet is a acetaminophen plus oxycodone (aka Oxycontin), which I found didn't really work all that well. Things still hurt, I just didn't care as much as I did 5 minutes ago. But, I digress.
- Percodan is aspirin plus oxycodone and so on and so forth. Just like artificial sweetners, there are a few main ones and then they start mixing them together to make new stuff.
There, pain relievers in a nutshell.
*These anti-inflammatorys are called NSAIDs. Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs. Meaning that they're not steroids (like prednisone), but they have some of the same reduces-swelling-and-inflammation properties.
NSAIDs block prostaglandins, which are the chemicals the body releases upon injury (among other times). NSAIDs are great for injuries, sore throats, sunburns, and all kinds of aches and pains. Not so good for pregnant or nursing mothers.
**No, this is pain relievers in a nutshell. "help, I'm i'm in a bloody great nutshell"
Highway Robbery
Lunch yesterday:
1 cheese sandwich on wheat
1 bottle iced tea
1 pint milk
1 piece chocolate cake
pretzels =
$9.46
Then, this morning, 1 pint of milk and 5 pats of butter was $1.16.
I hate the cafeteria.
1 cheese sandwich on wheat
1 bottle iced tea
1 pint milk
1 piece chocolate cake
pretzels =
$9.46
Then, this morning, 1 pint of milk and 5 pats of butter was $1.16.
I hate the cafeteria.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Coke Zero,
or Coke Naught, as we call it in my house, apparently tastes just like real Coke. Which brings me to the point of this post.
Today's lesson is about aritfical sweetners. There are a few main kinds of them and every single kind has ongoing raging debate about whether it is likely to cause cancer of the arm.
Anyway--on to the sweetners!
1) Sugar Alcohols, like mannitol and sorbitol
2) Saccharin, what Sweet-N-Low is made of
3) Aspartame, what NutraSweet is made of
4) Sucralose, what Splenda is made of
5) Acesulfame potassium, what, uh, acesulfame potassium is made of.
Sugar alcohols are just chemistry. They're naturally occurring compounds that happens to taste sweet--usually found in gum and candies. The main problem with them? The, um, digestive effect they can have. Try eating one too many sugar-free candies from the dentist's (booo)
Saccharin (Sweet-N-Low) is also a chemical--a sodium salt. It's sweeter than sugar, but has a bitter aftertaste at high concentrations and isn't heat-stable. No saccharin brownies for you. They used to think it caused cancer, but it doesn't (uh, they think).
Aspartame (NutraSweet) is the one we grew up with. It's basically a 2-amino acid amalgam that happens to taste sweet. One is aspartic acid and the other phenylalanine. The phenyl. is why cans of pop say "Warning: Phenylketonurics" People with phenylketonuria (or PKU) can't digest phenyl. and they keel over and die. It's pretty important. I guess.
It's not digestible (which is how many AS work, they might taste sweet, but the body doesn't recognize them as food) and has that bitter aftertaste thing too.
Sucralose (Splenda) is engineered chemistry. They took a carbon molecule (which is a bunch of carbon [C], hydrogen [H], and oxygen [O or OH] atoms bonded together); then, simply put, they yanked off an OH and replaced it a chloride ion (a Cl-).
Bitter taste? Better. Heat stable? Yep. Tastes more like sugar? Some say yes. Is it okay to replace an OH with a Cl? Hmmm...
Acesulfame potassium (well, you know) has been around for about 15 years. It's heat stable and is plain old non-engineered chemistry. An acetic acid compound, plus potassium, et voila! It can be used alone, but is usually combined with one of its siblings to give "a better sugar taste".
Which brings me back to Coke Naught. It's Acesulfame K plus aspartame, which is apparently really tastes like sugar.
Not that I would know. I don't use artifical sweetners.
(Next entry--> what pain meds are made from what stuff. Or, "If I offer you Advil and you say, 'No, I prefer Motrin, it works better', I guarantee your headache will be the least of your worries.")
Today's lesson is about aritfical sweetners. There are a few main kinds of them and every single kind has ongoing raging debate about whether it is likely to cause cancer of the arm.
Anyway--on to the sweetners!
1) Sugar Alcohols, like mannitol and sorbitol
2) Saccharin, what Sweet-N-Low is made of
3) Aspartame, what NutraSweet is made of
4) Sucralose, what Splenda is made of
5) Acesulfame potassium, what, uh, acesulfame potassium is made of.
Sugar alcohols are just chemistry. They're naturally occurring compounds that happens to taste sweet--usually found in gum and candies. The main problem with them? The, um, digestive effect they can have. Try eating one too many sugar-free candies from the dentist's (booo)
Saccharin (Sweet-N-Low) is also a chemical--a sodium salt. It's sweeter than sugar, but has a bitter aftertaste at high concentrations and isn't heat-stable. No saccharin brownies for you. They used to think it caused cancer, but it doesn't (uh, they think).
Aspartame (NutraSweet) is the one we grew up with. It's basically a 2-amino acid amalgam that happens to taste sweet. One is aspartic acid and the other phenylalanine. The phenyl. is why cans of pop say "Warning: Phenylketonurics" People with phenylketonuria (or PKU) can't digest phenyl. and they keel over and die. It's pretty important. I guess.
It's not digestible (which is how many AS work, they might taste sweet, but the body doesn't recognize them as food) and has that bitter aftertaste thing too.
Sucralose (Splenda) is engineered chemistry. They took a carbon molecule (which is a bunch of carbon [C], hydrogen [H], and oxygen [O or OH] atoms bonded together); then, simply put, they yanked off an OH and replaced it a chloride ion (a Cl-).
Bitter taste? Better. Heat stable? Yep. Tastes more like sugar? Some say yes. Is it okay to replace an OH with a Cl? Hmmm...
Acesulfame potassium (well, you know) has been around for about 15 years. It's heat stable and is plain old non-engineered chemistry. An acetic acid compound, plus potassium, et voila! It can be used alone, but is usually combined with one of its siblings to give "a better sugar taste".
Which brings me back to Coke Naught. It's Acesulfame K plus aspartame, which is apparently really tastes like sugar.
Not that I would know. I don't use artifical sweetners.
(Next entry--> what pain meds are made from what stuff. Or, "If I offer you Advil and you say, 'No, I prefer Motrin, it works better', I guarantee your headache will be the least of your worries.")
When bees attack.
Sunday night good friends of ours invited us over for dinner and to see their new baby. We were excited to go, threw the dog in the car (they're Lab friendly), and headed out.
After a monumental amount of wild shrieking (courtesy their daughter...whom you might remember from the February 27th episode here at Mairzydoats...seriously, I've never heard so much noise come out of one little body), one very accurate bonk on the new baby's head with a nice hard book, and some I'm Sorrys, we adults adjourned to the patio for some drinks and dinner.
These friends have a beautiful yard. I sometimes wonder if they've sold their gardening souls...hmmmm.
oh those are wave petunias....
Anyway, Dave, LW and I sit down at the Pelligrino-umbrellaed table outside for chips and beer (well, water for me, but whatever), while MW cooks the chicken. MW eventually sat down and almost immediately said "OW!" and swatted at his leg. ...cue impending music of doom...plus a low ominous buzzing, if you will...good perfect..
As he leaned over to the right to swat the offending bug, a swarming mass of yellowjackets erupted from under his chair to the left. Run, I screamed! Then I called for the yellow Lab rescue dog that lives next door--> STELLA!
Okay, I didn't. But wouldn't that be a great story? One of these days I'm going to find a reason to call her...
STELLA!
(Don't think I won't. I will. Ask Dave)
So, really, after a moment of shock, we all went in different directions--even the dogs. LW, the baby, and I headed for the door. Timber also headed that way in a panic after I called for her.
I'm not sure the dogs knew why we were all freaking out. It was more like, "We must also freak out!". As she ran in, I swatted a yellowjacket that was on her. Sting 1 for me.
I'm not sure which way Dave went, mostly because I was fascinated by the yellowjacket mating dance that was going on outside. MW had taken off across the yard, followed closely by a large black Labrador, and 568421862 yellowjackets.
You know how you see African or South American tribes on TV, performing dances with elaborate arm movements? Yeah.
Stings 1, 2, 3, and 4 for him. What do you do for bee stings? Benedryl? Rats no adult Benedryl. Infant Benedryl! How much? 4 teaspoons, 4 teaspoons. Drink this.
So we ate dinner uneventfully, but talked at length about the wonders of 20 foot knockdown wasp spray. So, after dinner, the boys did a little brokeback shopping* and came back with some Wasp Not. I only briefly looked out the window to witness the killing fields, but apparently the stuff works. 2 nests kilt (one under my! chair!)--one of them about 4 inches round.
Whiile we were watching a very rude, but very funny movie (after eating ice cream fetched by the walking wounded), we began to hear some strange noises.
feel shtrangh. zhon't feel goooo. sho shired.
Funny what 2 beers and 4 teaspoons of Benedryl will do for you.
*phrase brazenly stolen from Nick.
The internet says:
adj. Descriptor for any activity performed together by two heterosexual men (e.g. brokeback brunching, brokeback shopping, etc.). PROVENANCE: Suburban cineplexes. USAGE: "Where's Bob?" "Oh, he's out brokeback bowling with Dale.
(http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/002913.html)
After a monumental amount of wild shrieking (courtesy their daughter...whom you might remember from the February 27th episode here at Mairzydoats...seriously, I've never heard so much noise come out of one little body), one very accurate bonk on the new baby's head with a nice hard book, and some I'm Sorrys, we adults adjourned to the patio for some drinks and dinner.
These friends have a beautiful yard. I sometimes wonder if they've sold their gardening souls...hmmmm.
oh those are wave petunias....
Anyway, Dave, LW and I sit down at the Pelligrino-umbrellaed table outside for chips and beer (well, water for me, but whatever), while MW cooks the chicken. MW eventually sat down and almost immediately said "OW!" and swatted at his leg. ...cue impending music of doom...plus a low ominous buzzing, if you will...good perfect..
As he leaned over to the right to swat the offending bug, a swarming mass of yellowjackets erupted from under his chair to the left. Run, I screamed! Then I called for the yellow Lab rescue dog that lives next door--> STELLA!
Okay, I didn't. But wouldn't that be a great story? One of these days I'm going to find a reason to call her...
STELLA!
(Don't think I won't. I will. Ask Dave)
So, really, after a moment of shock, we all went in different directions--even the dogs. LW, the baby, and I headed for the door. Timber also headed that way in a panic after I called for her.
I'm not sure the dogs knew why we were all freaking out. It was more like, "We must also freak out!". As she ran in, I swatted a yellowjacket that was on her. Sting 1 for me.
I'm not sure which way Dave went, mostly because I was fascinated by the yellowjacket mating dance that was going on outside. MW had taken off across the yard, followed closely by a large black Labrador, and 568421862 yellowjackets.
You know how you see African or South American tribes on TV, performing dances with elaborate arm movements? Yeah.
Stings 1, 2, 3, and 4 for him. What do you do for bee stings? Benedryl? Rats no adult Benedryl. Infant Benedryl! How much? 4 teaspoons, 4 teaspoons. Drink this.
So we ate dinner uneventfully, but talked at length about the wonders of 20 foot knockdown wasp spray. So, after dinner, the boys did a little brokeback shopping* and came back with some Wasp Not. I only briefly looked out the window to witness the killing fields, but apparently the stuff works. 2 nests kilt (one under my! chair!)--one of them about 4 inches round.
Whiile we were watching a very rude, but very funny movie (after eating ice cream fetched by the walking wounded), we began to hear some strange noises.
feel shtrangh. zhon't feel goooo. sho shired.
Funny what 2 beers and 4 teaspoons of Benedryl will do for you.
*phrase brazenly stolen from Nick.
The internet says:
adj. Descriptor for any activity performed together by two heterosexual men (e.g. brokeback brunching, brokeback shopping, etc.). PROVENANCE: Suburban cineplexes. USAGE: "Where's Bob?" "Oh, he's out brokeback bowling with Dale.
(http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/002913.html)
This isn't 13.45N, 100.35E, for chrissake, what's with the rain?
Oy, the rain on Saturday! It was the best storm in years!
There was hail and the rain was so heavy we couldn't see the house across the street. No wonder why Charles Ingalls tied a rope between the cabin and the wood pile during blizzards.
Sheesh.
There was hail and the rain was so heavy we couldn't see the house across the street. No wonder why Charles Ingalls tied a rope between the cabin and the wood pile during blizzards.
Sheesh.
So then on Saturday,
I went to some sidewalk sales with L and C (affectionately known as The Crip). Crip recently hurt his leg sliding into second base and he's hurt rell bayd. It's a humdinger and he's in a giant leg brace.
It's a d*mn shame he didn't look at the date on his driver's license before sliding into second. (just kidding)
*no i'm not ;) okay, yes i am. not. am. not
It was fun, though, and then in the evening, after the monsoon (more on that later), we went to a cocktail party at my aunt and uncle's house.
It's a d*mn shame he didn't look at the date on his driver's license before sliding into second. (just kidding)
*no i'm not ;) okay, yes i am. not. am. not
It was fun, though, and then in the evening, after the monsoon (more on that later), we went to a cocktail party at my aunt and uncle's house.
I *did* have a nice weekend, thank for asking!
So Friday night I went to the now-traditional, once-a-month scrapbooking and ice cream fiesta. Now, I'm not a real scrapbooker. I have a bunch of craft widgets that I've collected over the years (I like to call it my scrap crap), but I've been working on the same scrapbook for about a year now.
Now, there are some unwritten rules regarding scrapbooking. These rules are really only enforced when certain person or persons are present during said scrapbooking and even then, only when he/she is looking. We call this person the Scrapbook Police. I've been witness to said policing, and the SP is really serious about the rules.
Rules like:
1) Don't get too complicated with any one page. Remember, we have 23456585 other scrapbooks to complete before we die.
2) You must use ACME scrapbook company supplies. If you use something on sale from meijer, your scrapbook will be ruined. Ruined! RuInEd!!!!
(sorry, got a little carried away there)
3) Make sure you use enough stickers with little character faces on them. Lots of little faces.
and
4) Straight lines suck. Only use curved lines. Round corners good, straight corners bad.
We rogue scrapbookers, however, thumb our colllective noses at the rules. We even tore our dresses and got short, black, spiky hairdos.
...we are young...straightedge to straightedge we stand...no promises, no demands...scrapbooking's a battlefield...
Now, there are some unwritten rules regarding scrapbooking. These rules are really only enforced when certain person or persons are present during said scrapbooking and even then, only when he/she is looking. We call this person the Scrapbook Police. I've been witness to said policing, and the SP is really serious about the rules.
Rules like:
1) Don't get too complicated with any one page. Remember, we have 23456585 other scrapbooks to complete before we die.
2) You must use ACME scrapbook company supplies. If you use something on sale from meijer, your scrapbook will be ruined. Ruined! RuInEd!!!!
(sorry, got a little carried away there)
3) Make sure you use enough stickers with little character faces on them. Lots of little faces.
and
4) Straight lines suck. Only use curved lines. Round corners good, straight corners bad.
We rogue scrapbookers, however, thumb our colllective noses at the rules. We even tore our dresses and got short, black, spiky hairdos.
...we are young...straightedge to straightedge we stand...no promises, no demands...scrapbooking's a battlefield...
Thursday, July 20, 2006
More like an infant, less like a preemie
So the ball of fluff is starting to seem more like a newborn! She was awake in her bouncy seat yesterday and it seemed like she'd look at you when you made a noise, instead of looking vaguely in the noise's direction. She's so cute.
Her tiny baby head is bigger too. Maybe grapefruit size now?
Her tiny baby head is bigger too. Maybe grapefruit size now?
Like a lizard eating a katydid.
They have a salad bar here at HCY. It's not as good as the salad bar at HCX, because HCX had peas. I really like peas.
With the exception of not having sunflower seeds or chow mein noodles (or peas), it's pretty good still, though. The cafe workers, however, cut the romaine lettuce in slices across the central rib (if you don't know what romaine looks like, that's like cutting a bunch of flowers across all the stems). This leaves one with giant foldy pieces of lettuce in one's bowl.
Every time I try to stuff these giant Romaine pieces into my mouth, it reminds me of pictures I've seen of lizards eating bugs with a lot of wings (like katydids).
Here, I even took a picture of myself so you could see-->
http://pbskids.org/backyardjungle/discovery/control.php?id=376084&action=detail
With the exception of not having sunflower seeds or chow mein noodles (or peas), it's pretty good still, though. The cafe workers, however, cut the romaine lettuce in slices across the central rib (if you don't know what romaine looks like, that's like cutting a bunch of flowers across all the stems). This leaves one with giant foldy pieces of lettuce in one's bowl.
Every time I try to stuff these giant Romaine pieces into my mouth, it reminds me of pictures I've seen of lizards eating bugs with a lot of wings (like katydids).
Here, I even took a picture of myself so you could see-->
http://pbskids.org/backyardjungle/discovery/control.php?id=376084&action=detail
Thursday, July 06, 2006
SuperSuit, part deux
So I order another SuperSuit from Eddie Bauer. All the suits of the kind that caught my eye in the catalog are sold out in my size except for one. Supersuit, The Teenage Years, is a chocolate,v-necked 1-piece suit (no fauxkini this time). It's really pretty!
So I tried it on--it wasn't as bad as Suit 1, but still, it didn't give in easily. Oddly, it seemed that this suit was designed with superspandex in the front and normal suit fabric in the back. It felt like I was being pulled forward by some (evil) imaginary force
I was happy enough with the suck-factor--I could breathe and, again, underwires rock. A little odd was the fact that I could see about an inch of the black underwire part behind the brown v-neck part, but, I figured if all else was well thatI could stitch that together.
Then I turned around to find that the suit had been missing some pieces when it arrived. Tent stakes.
Back to the drawing board. Swimsuit companies--where is the love?
So I tried it on--it wasn't as bad as Suit 1, but still, it didn't give in easily. Oddly, it seemed that this suit was designed with superspandex in the front and normal suit fabric in the back. It felt like I was being pulled forward by some (evil) imaginary force
I was happy enough with the suck-factor--I could breathe and, again, underwires rock. A little odd was the fact that I could see about an inch of the black underwire part behind the brown v-neck part, but, I figured if all else was well thatI could stitch that together.
Then I turned around to find that the suit had been missing some pieces when it arrived. Tent stakes.
Back to the drawing board. Swimsuit companies--where is the love?
All right, I'm admitting it.
I have a hard time finding a bathing suit that fits well.
Shut up--you too? no kidding..............
So, I'm constantly on the quest for a suit that is roomier (and has underwires) in some places and is not equally roomy in others.
Oh, and that isn't see through. And that can stand actual swimming, but, too, doesn't look like tent material. And isn't halter. And doesn't involve tying anything. But maybe is a 2-piece, because they really are the most comfortable. Oh, but then I'd have to do more situps than I'm currently doing (like, say, 1 situp), so maybe a tankini? But then not the kind that has bottoms that barely cover the daily news. And not the bottoms that pull up so high that you could tuck the waist up under your bra, either.
Which bring me back to my initial problem. So, one day, when sorting through the vast number of catalogs that arrive at my house on a daily basis, I happened upon an Eddie Bauer catalog with swimsuits in it.
I casually perused the suit section--because I expected to find the usual offerings of bikinis with tops comprised of 2 Kraft Singles and a few Red Vines.
...gasp..what is that?
Swimsuits in bra sizes? What? I mean, Victoria's Secret does that, but then the rest of the suit is usually missing. It's crazy. I'm ordering one.
EB calls these suits Miraclesuits. Apparently that means they have extra spandex to suck in one's fat. I'm all for sucking in fat, however, my fat (which I keep in secret locations) laughs at spandex. Mine is in for the long haul--unless they've got spandex made from whalebone, I'm not buying it. My fat is a green-belt.
However, they're bra-size suits and I must forge ahead. So, although I do not need the extreme suck (more on that later) of the Miraclesuit, my mom orders me a fauxkini in my size in periwinkle and black, for my birthday. A fauxkini, for those who buy their Kraft Singles suits at Old Navy, looks like a tankini, but is really a one piece suit.
On 6/27, SuperSuit arrives. It's pretty as it sits there in the box, so I pick it up. It felt, hmmm, kind of like a cross between a stack of plastic garbage bags (where it's heavy and the layers slide all over the place) and one of those Johnny Jump Up baby bouncers (where it kind of springs back up when pulled down).
So I run upstairs to try it on.
5:16 pm--> I'm trying on my suit
5:22 pm--> Whew, it's hot in here
5:31pm--> ...must...pull...suit...up
5:32pm--> WHOA--mustn't put fingernails through SuperSuit while attempting to winch it on to body
Finally got it on...gasp...they're right...gasp...my fat is...whew...definitely...less...noticeable. What is more noticeable, however, is the blue tone of my...skin.
The underwire part is FAB! I love it! I've never been so happy with the front of a bathing suit in my life! Alas, if even 1 stitch comes loose, somebody's getting hurt. So, maybe with the SuperSuit material one has to order a bigger size.
Hey, I'm not proud.
Shut up--you too? no kidding..............
So, I'm constantly on the quest for a suit that is roomier (and has underwires) in some places and is not equally roomy in others.
Oh, and that isn't see through. And that can stand actual swimming, but, too, doesn't look like tent material. And isn't halter. And doesn't involve tying anything. But maybe is a 2-piece, because they really are the most comfortable. Oh, but then I'd have to do more situps than I'm currently doing (like, say, 1 situp), so maybe a tankini? But then not the kind that has bottoms that barely cover the daily news. And not the bottoms that pull up so high that you could tuck the waist up under your bra, either.
Which bring me back to my initial problem. So, one day, when sorting through the vast number of catalogs that arrive at my house on a daily basis, I happened upon an Eddie Bauer catalog with swimsuits in it.
I casually perused the suit section--because I expected to find the usual offerings of bikinis with tops comprised of 2 Kraft Singles and a few Red Vines.
...gasp..what is that?
Swimsuits in bra sizes? What? I mean, Victoria's Secret does that, but then the rest of the suit is usually missing. It's crazy. I'm ordering one.
EB calls these suits Miraclesuits. Apparently that means they have extra spandex to suck in one's fat. I'm all for sucking in fat, however, my fat (which I keep in secret locations) laughs at spandex. Mine is in for the long haul--unless they've got spandex made from whalebone, I'm not buying it. My fat is a green-belt.
However, they're bra-size suits and I must forge ahead. So, although I do not need the extreme suck (more on that later) of the Miraclesuit, my mom orders me a fauxkini in my size in periwinkle and black, for my birthday. A fauxkini, for those who buy their Kraft Singles suits at Old Navy, looks like a tankini, but is really a one piece suit.
On 6/27, SuperSuit arrives. It's pretty as it sits there in the box, so I pick it up. It felt, hmmm, kind of like a cross between a stack of plastic garbage bags (where it's heavy and the layers slide all over the place) and one of those Johnny Jump Up baby bouncers (where it kind of springs back up when pulled down).
So I run upstairs to try it on.
5:16 pm--> I'm trying on my suit
5:22 pm--> Whew, it's hot in here
5:31pm--> ...must...pull...suit...up
5:32pm--> WHOA--mustn't put fingernails through SuperSuit while attempting to winch it on to body
Finally got it on...gasp...they're right...gasp...my fat is...whew...definitely...less...noticeable. What is more noticeable, however, is the blue tone of my...skin.
The underwire part is FAB! I love it! I've never been so happy with the front of a bathing suit in my life! Alas, if even 1 stitch comes loose, somebody's getting hurt. So, maybe with the SuperSuit material one has to order a bigger size.
Hey, I'm not proud.
We got to hold the ball-of-fluff out in the real world!
Yep, Baby C has now been three whole places in the world. The hospital and her own home, of course, and now Grandma's House!! (and maybe the doctor's office and such, but that doesn't count.)
For our Fourth of July, Dave and I got to play pass-the-baby at my mom and dad's :) She still won't open her eyes for more than a few seconds (B-I-L Nick says, come by at 2 am--you'll see all the Baby C open-eyeballs you can stand), but, since she should really still be a fetus, I guess we can cut her some slack.
Then I watched the city fireworks (across town) from my bedroom window in my pajamas.
No bug spray, no parking lot, no problem.
For our Fourth of July, Dave and I got to play pass-the-baby at my mom and dad's :) She still won't open her eyes for more than a few seconds (B-I-L Nick says, come by at 2 am--you'll see all the Baby C open-eyeballs you can stand), but, since she should really still be a fetus, I guess we can cut her some slack.
Then I watched the city fireworks (across town) from my bedroom window in my pajamas.
No bug spray, no parking lot, no problem.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Movie review: Superman Returns
So, here's my new movie review system. I've seen a couple movies recently and figured I'd share my experiences with the movie watching public. There are 5 possible points in each category (for a total of 40, currently) plus 10 in the extra credit category, so 45-50 total points. They range from 1 being "practically nonexistent" or "pretty awful" to 5 being "totally awesome".
A 3 in any category can be considered "pretty good".
And now Superman Returns...
Cute Boy to look at (1-5): 4! I was down on Brandon Routh (pronounced like south), mostly because I have had a huge crush on Christopher Reeve's Superman for, like, 20 years*.
Anyway, I also was annoyed by BR because A) Superman has blue eyes and Roush does not; and 2) Superman has to have sort of a rogue, wink-and-a-smile thing, and the interviews I saw of BR, well, he just didn't have it.
BUT--he pulled through in the end! They gave him blue contacts for when he turned into Superman, so that solved my first problem. And, Dave says he studied CR's old Superman movies for hours (which I appreciate, mrrrrow).
A satisfying ending (1-5): 3. Pretty good. It was unresolved, but in a "we're-going-to-make-another-movie" sort of way, not a "you-don't-have-enough-to-think-about-so-here's-an-unresolved-ending-for-you-to-ponder-for-freaking-eternity" sort of way .
Action/ adventureness (1-5): 4. Lots of good saving-the-world-from-destruction stuff
Love storyness (1-5): 4. The only thing keeping this from being a 5 were a few tears of joy. We all know the Superman and Lois Lane story. Sighhhh.
Good Scaryness (1-5, optional): N/A. Uh, not scary. Except if you count Pomeranian cannibalism as scary.
Kissing (1-5): 1. I would have gone with more making out.
But that's just me.
Cinematography/ Special effects (1-5): 4. Good! The flying, weightlessness, and airplane scenes only required the standard amount of willing suspension of disbelief**
Laughs (1-5): 3. There were some very good, funny parts that were mostly fueled by Lex Luthor.
Extra Credit (10 points): 10! Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor was great! I like him to begin with, but he was a great quirky funny evil, rather than just plain evil. It has a good beat, I can dance to it, I give it a 10.
Total: 33 out of 45. Definitely worth seeing (unless you're a commie and you don't like Superman.)
*Honestly, I think I have a superhero crush problem. Aquaman (yes, the cartoon), Batman (Keaton, that is), Wolverine, Superman. Pretty much every cute superhero except Spiderman... because it's really not nice to compete with one's sister for a superhero...although honestly, I think she more wanted to be Spiderman (Spiderperson?), than kiss him.
**I really think enjoying a movie requires what I call suspension of disbelief. Would Superman's cape really flap in space? No, of course not, there isn't any atmosphere; so therefore, there isn't any wind to flap it (and solar wind doesn't count). When Superman returns Lois Lane to the ground after flying around, wouldn't her skirt fly up like Marilyn Monroe's in The Seven Year Itch?
You just have to suspend some of that disbelief or you're never really going to enjoy yourself.
A 3 in any category can be considered "pretty good".
And now Superman Returns...
Cute Boy to look at (1-5): 4! I was down on Brandon Routh (pronounced like south), mostly because I have had a huge crush on Christopher Reeve's Superman for, like, 20 years*.
Anyway, I also was annoyed by BR because A) Superman has blue eyes and Roush does not; and 2) Superman has to have sort of a rogue, wink-and-a-smile thing, and the interviews I saw of BR, well, he just didn't have it.
BUT--he pulled through in the end! They gave him blue contacts for when he turned into Superman, so that solved my first problem. And, Dave says he studied CR's old Superman movies for hours (which I appreciate, mrrrrow).
A satisfying ending (1-5): 3. Pretty good. It was unresolved, but in a "we're-going-to-make-another-movie" sort of way, not a "you-don't-have-enough-to-think-about-so-here's-an-unresolved-ending-for-you-to-ponder-for-freaking-eternity" sort of way .
Action/ adventureness (1-5): 4. Lots of good saving-the-world-from-destruction stuff
Love storyness (1-5): 4. The only thing keeping this from being a 5 were a few tears of joy. We all know the Superman and Lois Lane story. Sighhhh.
Good Scaryness (1-5, optional): N/A. Uh, not scary. Except if you count Pomeranian cannibalism as scary.
Kissing (1-5): 1. I would have gone with more making out.
But that's just me.
Cinematography/ Special effects (1-5): 4. Good! The flying, weightlessness, and airplane scenes only required the standard amount of willing suspension of disbelief**
Laughs (1-5): 3. There were some very good, funny parts that were mostly fueled by Lex Luthor.
Extra Credit (10 points): 10! Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor was great! I like him to begin with, but he was a great quirky funny evil, rather than just plain evil. It has a good beat, I can dance to it, I give it a 10.
Total: 33 out of 45. Definitely worth seeing (unless you're a commie and you don't like Superman.)
*Honestly, I think I have a superhero crush problem. Aquaman (yes, the cartoon), Batman (Keaton, that is), Wolverine, Superman. Pretty much every cute superhero except Spiderman... because it's really not nice to compete with one's sister for a superhero...although honestly, I think she more wanted to be Spiderman (Spiderperson?), than kiss him.
**I really think enjoying a movie requires what I call suspension of disbelief. Would Superman's cape really flap in space? No, of course not, there isn't any atmosphere; so therefore, there isn't any wind to flap it (and solar wind doesn't count). When Superman returns Lois Lane to the ground after flying around, wouldn't her skirt fly up like Marilyn Monroe's in The Seven Year Itch?
You just have to suspend some of that disbelief or you're never really going to enjoy yourself.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
