Five days until we get a new CW…………….

In the meantime, today's post will be about apostrophes.

Lesson 1: Plurals
If you have 2 or more of anything (squirrel, hot dog, car, etc), never, under any circumstances, does this "pluralizing" require an apostrophe.

Never-never-ever. Never-ever. Only add an -s (or an -es, if needed).

Anytime you create a noun-apostrophe-"S" combo, you have created either a contraction (see below) or a possessive (see also below). "Hot Dog's 1.99" does not mean you have more than one hot dog. It means the hot dog's what?? is 1.99? (and I don't really want to know)

You can argue with me about this, but you will not be right.

Lesson 2: Contractions
Contractions are when you smash a noun (like squirrel or hot dog) and a verb (like is or am) together. Proper nouns (like Dave and Wisconsin) also count as nouns.

For instance,
"The squirrel is going to get run over" is equal to "The squirrel's going to get run over" and

"That hot dog is going to burn, now" is equal to "That hot dog's going to burn, now" as well as

"Dave is a big barbecue fan" being the same as "Dave's a big barbecue fan"

Lesson 3: Possessives
Okay, this is where the apostrophe really hits the fan.

1 squirrel has a hairbrush = squirrel's hairbrush
2 squirrels each have hairbrushes = squirrels' hairbrushes (note the addition of the -es plural (see Lesson 1)

Now for the scary part--> where the word already has an "s" on the end!

Charles has an arrest record = Charles' arrest record
or
Marbles had a margarita out on the pool deck = Marbles' margarita

There you go. Apostrophes in 3 easy lessons.

Now none of you has any excuse's.

(I mean, excuses)