Movie Review: Snakes on a Plane

So, the most-oft quoted line from this movie ("I've had it with these *&$%#& snakes on this %&&^* plane"), I really do not think is very funny. And, really I didn't think I'd like this movie at all (I really went just to earn points with my husband), but...

Cute Persons to look at (1-5): 1.5. Well--there's a miscellaneous surfer dude and a miscellaneous blonde stewardess. Plus Juliana Margulies and Samuel Jackson each have a bit of charm to them, but this movie is not about good looks. It's about snakes.

A Satisfying Ending (1-5): 5. Rarely do I get to see a movie where it's all wrapped up at the end! After all, there's not much left to talk about once the Snakes Are Not On The Plane.

Action/ adventureness (1-5): 3. You have to accept what you're watching with this movie. It's Snakes on a Plane.

It's a premature cult classic (and by cult classic, I mean a movie that really isn't that thrilling or well made, but the more you watch it, the more you are entranced by its not-that-good-ness. Its mystique is enhanced by repeated watchings with your friends where you all laugh hysterically at things that aren't really all that funny. And you know all the lines. Like The Rocky Horror Picture Show or The Princess Bride or Napoleon Dynamite or Caddyshack.)

Anyway--there was action/adventureness, and as long as you can accept that it was Snakes. On. A. Plane. , it was pretty enjoyable

Love storyness (1-5): 1. There was a little surfer dude/stewardess thing and a little other main characters thing (including a great sly grin from SJ), but again, S.O.A.P. This movie is very focused on its goal.

Good Scaryness (1-5, optional): 1. There were a few good scenes that make you jump, but it's not really scary. Unless you are afraid to board a screaming tube of aluminum death* (this would be the Plane part)--score of 4 in that case. Or you're snakeophobic (the Snakes part)--score of 5.

Kissing (1-5): 1. Honestly, I don't think there was any kissing. I know, right? And I don't think I would have missed that part, because, really, that's the best part of any movie.

Cinematography/ Special effects (1-5): 3. There were a lot of effects, but they weren't very good. Not not-enjoyable, just not good. Although the Plane effects were very good in comparison to the Snake ones.

Laughs (1-5): 3. Good laughs. Sometimes you're laughing with it, sometimes you're laughing at it, but they're there. They are there.

Extra Credit (10 points): 5. In spite of myself, I liked it. It's no masterpiece, but I liked it.

Total: 23.5 out of 45. As they say, it is what it is. It's Snakes On A Plane. I would even go see it again.

*Courtesy B.I.L.