Movie Review: Pirates 2 (aka less knee slapping, more arrrghhh.)

Cute Persons to look at (1-5): 3. This one is kind of in the middle. If you think Orlando Bloom is cute, then yes. I don't think he's cute (vaguely appealing as an arrow-slinging elf, but otherwise, no).

If you think Johnny Depp is cute, then also yes. I, for some reason, only think he's cute as Captain Jack Sparrow (maybe it's the eyeliner?), so it works for me.

Also, I don't think I have a large guy readership, but for any guy readers, Keira Knightley. All guys like her, it seems.

A satisfying ending (1-5): 2. We all know there's going to be another movie, so then ending is left purposefully hanging. Not hanging in a oh-I-can't-wait-to-see-the-next-movie way, but in a well-I-heard-there-was-another-one-in-the-works way.

Action/ adventureness (1-5): 3. Pretty good action adventure. The pirate stuff was good (heavily borrowed from Errol Flynn, but there's no shame in borrowing from a pirate master). The C.G. stuff? Eh. I wasn't that impressed, although it was well done. It's just, I went to a pirate movie to see, well, pirate-y stuff.

Love storyness (1-5): 2. There was the same Elizabeth Swan/Will Turner love story from Pirates 1, but this time with a little something different.

Good Scaryness (1-5, optional): N/A. Not scary, except the CG might be scary for little kids.

Kissing (1-5): 3. There was kissing, but it's not who you think. It was a much better choice, however, a mon avis.

Once again, I would have gone with more making out. But that's just me.

Cinematography/ Special effects (1-5): 4. The CG was good, even though I didn't like it. The pirate cinematography was well done.

Laughs (1-5): 2. Some good laughs, but a little too much slapstick, a little too little tongue-in-cheek

Extra Credit (10 points): -2. I found myself wishing for less Leslie Nielsen, more Errol Flynn

Total: 17 out of 45. Didn't really like it, except for Captain Jack and the swashbuckling scenes. The first was much better.

In other words, next time? Less knee slapping, more arrrghhh.